


One Last Name To Cross

by VeronicaFerCard



Series: The List [2]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Character Death, Mutual Pining, Spies & Secret Agents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-10
Updated: 2016-01-10
Packaged: 2018-05-12 22:19:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 29,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5682874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VeronicaFerCard/pseuds/VeronicaFerCard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur had been living a normal life for a few years now. He was pretty sure he had left the past behind. But the copy of Merlin's videogame at Arthur's doorstep begged to differ.<br/>So there they were again: Merlin, Arthur... and  something ominous hovering over their heads.</p><p>And, the worst of it, Arthur wasn't even sure he knew who Merlin was anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> No one was happy (myself included) with the way things ended in The List, so here it is! The sequel. As always, the author is too lazy for proper reseach and makes things up as she goes. Please have an open mind. It's all fiction after all. 
> 
> I do not own any of these charaters, and this is all made in the name of fun. The only profit I seek is the one in the form of kudos and nice comments. Enjoy.

Arthur was panting under Merlin’s hand, his breathing coming out in the form of shallow gasps.

“Fuck,” Merlin cursed yet again, pressing harder.

Arthur grunted in response, squeezing his eyes shut while he tried to concentrate in something else. He felt beads of sweat running down his back, his brow wasn’t any better; and he shivered, feeling strangely hot and cold at the same time.

Merlin moved his fingers again and Arthur’s eyes rolled back.

“Don’t you even dare,” Merlin said through gritted teeth, while he tried to hold his grip on the slippery patch of skin on Arthur's bare waist. “Arthur!” Merlin urged him, “Keep looking at me.”

A series of different sounds escaped Arthur’s lips, starting with a short laugh that ended in a groan, as he tried to do as Merlin asked. He vaguely wondered if this would be the last time he would be seeing those blue marbles.

“We should do this more often,” he snickered, trying to adjust himself on the bed.

Merlin held him down.

“I think twice is more than enough,” Merlin answered with a snort. He was just as sweaty as Arthur, with blood high on his cheekbones. He torn his gaze from the bed to look for something on the nightstand, and Arthur was blissfully districted by the elegant curves of Merlin’s neck and collarbone.

“I want to kiss you,” Arthur announced. He felt lightheaded. Maybe that was the effect Merlin had on him, making Arthur feel high on his own chemicals, drugged by the mere sight of the man in front of him.

Or it could just be the loss of blood.

Merlin chuckled. “Kiss this,” he said, shoving a piece of fabric in Arthur’s open mouth.

Then Merlin pulled the bullet out of him.

* * *

 

_Before_

Arthur had never been a videogame type of bloke, not growing up and certainly not now that he was an adult. Nevertheless, he did buy himself a copy of _Dragonlord,_ along with the proper consoles to play with it, when Merlin’s game was first released.

Despite not being a fan of the media, Arthur couldn’t deny that he had really enjoyed himself while he went on quests and saved his mythical CGI land from all sorts of perils. And there were the dragons, of course. He could command them as he saw fit, which was the greatest appeal of game. Merlin couldn’t have chosen better. Dragons were so in vogue. Even if the game had been a complete failure, their element would still be enough to fill Merlin’s pockets with the dragon worshippers’ money.

Arthur couldn’t think of anything more popular.

Well… maybe bacon. But he supposed that wouldn’t mix well with the medieval theme.

Anyway, he really liked Merlin’s game. But the only reason Arthur had bought it was because he had been curious to check out Merlin’s work. Arthur had, after all, played a part – albeit a small one – on the development of the game, back when it had only been an Uni project for computers. Even if said part had consisted mostly of him pointing at the screen of Merlin’s laptop and asking what the endless lines of code meant.

And as fun as it had been, the novelty had eventually passed and Arthur hadn’t touched the game in a long time.

And he certainly hadn’t purchased the copy of _Dragonlord II – Return of the King_ that was sitting on his coffee table in front of him.

It had been there, waiting for him amongst the rest of his mail when Arthur got home from the university.

Arthur hadn’t exactly been keeping track of Merlin’s career over the year, but he was sure he would have heard – from Gaius, at least – if Merlin had launched another game.

Arthur’s brain skimmed through all the possible scenarios in which Merlin’s unreleased game would find its way to his doorstep. He came up blank.

He hadn’t seen Merlin in over a year. And there hadn’t been anything in their brief encounter to suggest that Merlin had wanted any kind of proximity with Arthur, quite the opposite, actually. Merlin had seemed somewhat uncomfortable in Arthur’s presence.

Not that Arthur could have blamed him. Not after Arthur had almost gotten him killed. Not after their relationship had withered and died before it even had a chance to properly start.

Be that as it may, it wouldn’t change the fact that the game was there because someone wanted Arthur to have it. Why? He could only guess.

Getting off the sofa, Arthur took the CD from its casing and put it to play. He looked around for the joystick, but before he found it, Arthur discovered it wouldn’t be necessary.

It wasn’t a game.

It was video.

Suddenly, Merlin’s face filled Arthur’s screen. 

“Uh, Arthur, uh, hi!” He scratched the back of his head, looking away from the camera for a few moments, chucking softly at his own embarrassment. Then he shook himself out of it and turned his gaze back to the camera. “We haven’t really talked to each other in a while, uh. And I just – I just want to –” Merlin sighed, he seemed frustrated with his loss of words. He shook his head again and cleared his throat before giving another go at whatever he was trying to say. “Arthur. If you’re watching this there’s a big chance I’m already gone. Or will be. Soon.”

Arthur’s heart skipped a beat at Merlin’s words. He couldn’t possibly mean what Arthur thought he meant. How? Why? And why would Merlin send that to him?

The spy ever dormant within Arthur woke up with a start and began to look for the hidden meaning behind what Merlin was saying.

He stopped the video and started it again.

“… or will be. Soon. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that there were things that I wished I’d done.” On the screen Merlin blushed, he bit his lower lip. Ever the shy boy Arthur remembered, even if Merlin didn’t look like a kid anymore. “With you.”

Arthur frowned at his television. What was Merlin talking about?

“I wish I’d taken you up to my dorm. You remember my dorm? The one I shared with Lance?” Yes, Arthur remembered. He caught himself moments from nodding in agreement at Merlin’s image. “Well, I do regret not having my way with you on that bed.” There was nothing shy about Merlin’s smile this time. Arthur was finding it all way too strange to be affected by the words. “Oh Arthur, how I wish you’d seen that bed. I really wanted you on that bed.”

“Right, Merlin. I got it.” This time Arthur did communicate with the telly. “You left something for me. You’re not as subtle as you think.”

After a brief pause, Merlin changed the topic.

“You know who I hadn’t seen in a while, mom’s old boyfriend.” Arthur’s spine snapped into place as he suddenly sat up straight. Something had happened to Balinor. “I wonder if maybe you’ve heard of him. Have you?” Merlin asked. And no, Arthur had not seen the Dragonlord in a long time. “I miss him.”

What the fuck was going on? How come Merlin missed a man he barely knew? He made the whole situation even weirder by saying, “He was like a father to me. Taught me everything I know.”

Merlin looked sadly at Arthur, or rather, at the camera, before saying his goodbyes. “Yeah, uh. That’s what I wanted, to have you on that bed. And to see my dad again before I–”

He didn’t finish. The screen went black and Arthur was left facing his own silhouette on the black mirror.

Arthur had no idea what was going on. He got the messages Merlin was trying to send him: Balinor was missing; there was something in Merlin’s old dorm he had left for Arthur. That did not mean he understood the meaning of it all.

And more importantly, why was Merlin seeking _his_ help of all people?

It didn’t matter, really. Even after all those years Arthur still felt like he owed Merlin something for almost ruining – not to say ending – his life.

The next moment found Arthur heading back to campus.

* * *

Thanks to his years in Avalon, getting in and out of places without being noticed wasn’t an issue for Arthur.

He waited long enough to make sure the two kids living in Merlin’s old room were out, and then walked through the front door of the building, looking as if he belonged there.

As luck would have it, Arthur didn’t see any of his students while he marched to the dorm.

Picking locks was another one if his old habits which had refused to die with the end of Arthur’s secret agent career. And so, a paper clip was all he needed to enter.

And how the hell was he to know which bed had belonged to Merlin?

By trial and error, that was why.

It took him about twenty minutes to find the flash drive hidden inside a hollow leg of one of the beds. Arthur smiled at the small device. It was their thing.

 _Their thing…_ Arthur must have been watching way too much telly lately, to be romanticizing the past like that. He was almost one hundred percent sure Merlin wouldn’t feel the same thing about the time he nearly died because of Arthur.

However, now was not the time for him to dwell on Merlin’s feelings. Or his own, for what that mattered.

Arthur left the dorm and exited the building without being seen. Which was a small miracle in itself, since usually, at that time, students would be either returning from classes or leaving for them.

Out in the open Arthur kept his head down until he got back to his car.

During the journey back home there was nothing for him to worry about except the content of the drive. Arthur then had the realization that it was true what people said, history _did_ tend to repeat itself.

And so here they were again, Arthur, Merlin and a mysterious thumb drive. At least – he found out when he got home – the data wasn’t encrypted this time.

It was another video.

“Arthur,” Merlin breathed in relief, as if he could actually see Arthur standing in front of him. “You’ve made it,” he said, proving Arthur theory. “I mean, I think you did. If that’s the case, I really need your help. I don’t know how much you got from my first message, but, well… I’ve been working with Balior –”

“What?” Arthur asked the television, not sure if he had heard right.

“Avalon might be over but the work was far from being done, Arthur.”

Merlin shook his head with an expression on his face Arthur could only call distress.

“Anyway, he’s vanished. Balinor. Someone took him, or killed him. I don’t know. I hate to ask, Arthur. I know you got out for a good reason, but I need your help. You have more contacts and influence in this world than I do. Whoever took Balinor… They’re probably coming after me.”

Suddenly Arthur felt like a bucket of ice cold water had been dumped over his head. He froze for a moment, and the song of his increasing heartbeats were almost enough to drown out Merlin’s voice.

On the screen Merlin paused for a moment, he seemed to consider something before adding as an afterthought, “And if you’re not Arthur, well… then you can go fuck yourself for all I care. ‘Cause you’re either the one trying to off me or this is not making any sense to you, either way, sod off. This message is not for you. 

Oh and Arthur, if you’re still watching this? First of all, why? Your part of the message is clearly over, you’re wasting time, you prat. Quit sitting around, you’re making an easy target of yourself. I’ll be in touch again soon. If I’m still alive, that is,” Merlin finished.

This time Merlin’s message wasn’t as clear to Arthur as the first. Was Merlin telling him he had to leave his house? Was Arthur a target too?

Well, there was only one way for him to understand what was going on.

Arthur needed to find Merlin.

* * *

_“You have one missing phone call from… mom.”_

“Jesus!” Merlin was startled by the female robotic voice coming from speakers on the corner of walls. For a second or two he was pretty sure that his soul was about to leave his body the moment Aithusa’s voice broke the silence of his basement. “Give us a heart attack, will you.”

“ _I am sorry, Merlin. It was not my intention.”_

Merlin sometimes wondered if he had accidentally added sarcasm to the features of his AI. It certainly didn’t sound very apologetic right now.

“Did she leave a message?”  He asked, turning his thought away from the lack of sincerity of his tech.

Aithusa ran the entire electric and electronic system in his house; she had access to everything, from Merlin’s mobile to the alarm on his front door, including the landline Hunith had insisted on getting it for Merlin’s place when he had moved from the Uni dorm. It didn’t matter how many time Merlin had told her nobody used those anymore, his mom wouldn’t have it any other way.

She called Merlin on that number every week, just to prove her point.

“ _Yes. Shall I reproduce the message?”_

“Yeah, please,” Merlin replied. And suddenly, his mother’s voice filled the room.

“Sweetheart, I’m going to visit him next weekend. It’s his birthday.” Merlin felt a pang in his chest at her words. His mom was the best person he had ever known, and yet she was not spared from the shite parts of life. He supposed no one really was, but if someone were to be spared, it _should_ be her. “Would you like to come with me? Call me back, my boy. I love you.”

_“Do you wish to hear it again?”_

“No. Thanks, Aithusa.”

He made a mental note to call her in the morning, from the landline, just because.

But for now, Merlin turned his attention back to the computer screens in front of him; more specifically, the one streaming from the camera in his drone.

It had been following Arthur all day, making sure he wasn’t home when Merlin dropped the fake game with the rest of the Arthur’s mail. And then confirming that he had followed the trail Merlin had left for him. However, the zoom on the camera was shitty and Arthur hadn’t turned the lights on when – if – he had entered the dorm, so there was no way of knowing if he had found the flash drive or not.

Merlin hoped to god he had.

He needed to make sure Arthur would be safe.

* * *

 

Arthur barely slept that night, his thoughts wouldn’t let him. Images of Merlin dying in the most horrible ways kept running through his mind. And Arthur felt a knot tightening itself in his stomach with the anxiety of not knowing what the bloody hell was going on.

Contrary from him, the sun still had a few good hours of shut eye when Arthur gave up sleeping and decided to go for a run.

While his feet assaulted the pavement Arthur tried to put everything he _did_ know until now in some sort of order. He started by the two videos Merlin had left to him. Arthur had watched both of them over and over again, trying to get as much information as he could from those short minutes.

First thing he noticed was that Merlin had recorded them out of his own free will, he didn’t seem to be reading from any script or been forced to say any of those things. Secondly, the videos got to Arthur, like they were supposed to. Somebody, probably Merlin, had put them where Arthur would find it.

And then there was the content of the videos. Everything Merlin had said. He was working with Balinor, the only former member of Avalon Arthur had not heard from since the organization had been dissolved. It seemed like retirement had not been in Balinor’s plans back then. Although, why would he drag Merlin to the life he had seemed so adamant in keeping from Merlin for all those year was beyond Arthur.

Now Balinor was missing and Merlin needed Arthur’s help to find him. 

Well, that and…

Merlin was on the radar of whoever took Balinor as well.

_You’re making an easy target of yourself._

Arthur stopped short on his track. Above him, the sky was starting to announce the beginning of a new day. Wiping the sweat off his brow Arthur took notice of his surroundings – he was still within his neighborhood – there was nothing out of ordinary, just the elegant two-story houses that screamed old money.

He glanced around, searching for any strange movements, but there was none. He was alone, though he couldn’t shake the sudden feeling that he was being watched.

Arthur was pretty sure he hadn’t left any crumbs to be trailed back to him when he left Her Majesty’s service. He had made sure to cover all his and his family’s tracks, so that they could move on with their lives.

Perhaps Merlin was projecting whatever was happening to him onto Arthur’s life. Or maybe he believed seeking his help would make Arthur a target for the people chasing him.

Whatever it was, Arthur wouldn’t get any answer there. He ran his way back home and took a quick shower before heading to Camelot University.

He wasn’t going to sit and wait for Merlin’s instructions like a puppy being trained. Merlin wanted his help? Well, it would be on Arthur’s terms then.

Arthur allowed himself a moment to feel stupid. He didn’t need to _guess_ where Merlin was. He just had to ask.

He knocked softly on the door twice before opening it without waiting for an answer.

“Morning, Gaius,” he greeted with a polite smile. “Do you have Merlin’s address?”

* * *

Merlin needed to sleep. He longed for the sweetness of some good eight hours of pure unconsciousness. Why was Arthur the person he was? The kind of person who saw fit to go for a run in the middle of the night, completely unprotected.

Thank heavens for Aithusa!

She saw through the camera in the drone and woke Merlin up, like he had told her to do if she saw anything strange.

He watched as Arthur ran for more than an hour before suddenly stopping and staying where he was for so long that Merlin had begun to think there was something wrong with his camera.

Merlin was only able to relax when Arthur started back to his house. He exhaled a long breath seeing the front door shut, securing Arthur inside his house. Merlin left him to his own devices after that, he had already taken too much of Arthur’s privacy.

He torn his gaze from the computer screen, leaning back on his chair he look up at his white ceiling. Merlin sighed. He remembered Arthur’s face when he told him that life wasn’t for him.

He had hurt Arthur because he had been scared of getting killed.

How selfish he was. He never stopped to think about the danger _Arthur_ was in. 

Merlin closed his eyes.

He knew better now. Balinor had shown Merlin everything they did – everything Arthur did – to keep people safe. 

There was no way Merlin could go back to living his life pretending he didn’t know that world existed. That it existed to protect people like him – like he was before – clueless to the danger they were in.

Arthur had sacrificed a normal life for the greater good. True, he might not have been given a choice back when he was only a kid and his father brought him to Avalon, but regardless, Merlin was certain the outcome would still have been the same. Arthur was a self-sacrificing idiot, it was what he did.

And Merlin turned him down for it.

“Shit,” he sighed, running his hands through his hair. He stopped at the nape and pulled it in frustration.

Merlin stayed like that for a few minutes until he broke his own train of thoughts with a loud yawn. He suddenly realized how tired he was. Merlin blinked and felt as if someone had spilled sand on his eyes.

Judging that Arthur would be fine for the rest of the night slash beginning of the day, Merlin crawled his way up from the basement and into his bedroom.

 _“Merlin, you have a visitor._ ”

Aithusa’s voice was coming from somewhere far within Merlin’s dream, a dream in which she was a white dragon trying to burn Arthur alive.

“Stop,” he tried to scream. But she wasn’t listening, she kept repeating the same thing over and over. Merlin tried to run, to get to Arthur, to save him. But he couldn’t move. “No,” he whispered when he saw Arthur falling to his knees.

 _“Merlin, you have a visitor._ ”

A desperate gasp escaping from his lips did the trick to finally bring Merlin back from Morpheus’ arms. He jolted awake with a foul taste in his mouth, which had little to do with morning breath.

Rubbing his face with his hands Merlin walked barefoot to his front door, as Aithusa’s words started to make sense in his foggy mind. Someone was there. It was probably his mom.

_“Merlin, you have—”_

“Visitor. Yeah, yeah, I heard,” he mumbled more to himself than to his A.I.  She was just doing her job, there was no need to be mean to her just because he was in a mood.

Turned out he needn’t concern with her feelings. Either Aithusa didn’t hear him or she was downright ignoring him, for she continued as if Merlin hadn’t spoken.

 _“Visitor,_ ” she proceeded as Merlin unlocked his door. “ _It’s—”_

“Arthur!” They said in unison, though Merlin was pretty sure the high pitched tone did not come from the program.

“You better have a good explanation for this,” Arthur said, crossing his arms over his chest.

* * *

Merlin gapped at him like a fish out of water until Arthur lost his patience and, uncrossing his arms, snapped his fingers in front of Merlin’s startled face.

“Come on, _Mer_ lin,” he urged.

 “Ah-how did you know where I live?”

Arthur couldn’t, for the life of him, describe what was going on inside himself in that moment. He had no idea which of his feelings was stronger, the relief in seeing Merlin was alive or, the confusion in realizing Merlin was indeed so well that he was answering his front door, despite the things he’d said about being someone’s target.

“I didn’t,” he answered after a few seconds of awkward silence. “I asked Gaius.” Merlin just blinked in response. “It didn’t occur to you that I’d ask him, didn’t it?”

“No,” Merlin said, it sounded like a question. He looked genuinely surprised by the fact, as if that possibility hadn’t remotely crossed his mind. Merlin seemed almost hurt that Arthur had found a flaw on his perfect plan.

It was such a _Merlin_ thing that Arthur huffed at it in amusement.

“You’re ridiculous,” he accused, though there was no heat in his words.

Merlin crossed his arms defensively. “You’re snoopy,” he pouted.

And suddenly it felt as if they had been thrown back a few years, when the back and forth banter between them came as easy as the breath to their lungs. Before Merlin knew who Arthur was, when he could afford to play pretend, not with Merlin though, but with himself. Back when Arthur fooled himself into thinking that they would last.

Seeing that Merlin didn’t seem to be in imminent danger, Arthur then felt very much like not being there.

He cleared his throat before saying, “Well, you seem occupied. I’ll – I’ll leave you to it.”

Arthur started to turn away but before he could take as much as one step Merlin grabbed his arm.

“No,” Merlin shouted desperately, casting nervous glances to the street behind Arthur.

“Merlin?” Arthur frowned at him.

“Please, stay,” Merlin asked, with a small voice this time. And again Arthur felt as if Cronos was playing with him, and standing at that doorstep was the boy Arthur had first met, the one who’d seemed half afraid Arthur would hurt him and yet didn’t back down when Arthur was being an ass to him.

Acting on impulse Arthur bypassed Merlin and entered the house. “Fine,” he said with his back to Merlin. “You can start by telling me what the hell you’re doing with the Dragonlord.”

Merlin didn’t even try to be subtle when he dodged the question. “You shouldn’t have come here, Arthur. You’re putting yourself in danger. You should have waited for me to contact you again.”

“Why?” Arthur demanded roughly as he turned on his heels to face Merlin.

“I don’t want you involved,” Merlin answered simply.

Arthur snorted. “What the hell are you talking about? You have _literally_ sought out my help.”

Merlin shook his head. He averted his gaze from Arthur, glancing down at his feet instead. He was biting down on his lower lip so hard that Arthur was half expecting the skin there to break any moment now.

“Merlin? Talk to me.” Arthur approached him slowly, as if Merlin were a scared, a frightened animal Arthur didn’t want to spook.

“Not like this,” Merlin finally admitted, though he was still avoiding Arthur’s gaze. “Not directly involved.” He shook his head again and then finally looked up. “Not in a way that you can’t go back to your life.”

Arthur had no idea what to make of that. Merlin was clearly scared of something, but it didn’t make sense that he would seek for Arthur’s help, only to turn him down when Arthur responded to his request.

Although Arthur hadn’t actually responded to Merlin’s request, had he? Quite the opposite, he went and tracked Merlin down, right after Merlin had told him to stay put.

_You’re making an easy target of yourself._

No, not stay put. Merlin wanted him to hide.

“Someone’s after –”

_“Merlin, you have a red flagged email.”_

Arthur’s hand went automatically to the gun tugged in the small of his back. He stopped midway through it when he noticed the voice was coming from a speaker above his head.

“Thanks, Aithusa.” Merlin didn’t seem fazed by either the voice or Arthur’s reaction to it. “She’s a program,” he explained. Although it didn’t justify his reaction – or rather, lack of thereof – to Arthur pulling a gun out in his house, even if it wasn’t aimed at Merlin. For someone who had been shot before, Merlin was surprisingly calm in the presence of one.

 _“Shall I read it?”_ The disembodied female voice asked.

Merlin casted a hesitant look at Arthur, probably weighting his option to see if he should or not share whatever it was with Arthur.

And apparently Arthur was found wanting, because after another moment of consideration Merlin decided he would check the email out himself. “No need, I’ll read it in a bit,” he announced. To Arthur, he simply said, “Follow me, you have to see something.”

* * *

Resining to the fact that there were things he would not be able to keep from Arthur, Merlin guided him to the basement, keeping his back to Arthur as he typed the password to unlock the steel door.

Merlin turned on the lights and immediately swung to look at Arthur’s face, trying to read his reactions as he surveyed the room. If he was impressed by it, he didn’t show.

“Like I told you,” Merlin began, drawing Arthur’s attention back to him. “Avalon might be over, but there are still people who need to be stopped before they hurt –” Merlin hesitated for a second and Arthur noticed, “Other people.”

“I see your lying skills haven’t improved over the years, _Mer_ lin,” Arthur accused, though it didn’t seem like he was about to press. If he was suspicious of something – which he most definitely was – he was keeping it to himself for now, and Merlin was more than grateful for it. 

“You’d be surprised.” Merlin chuckled. He was pleased with himself when he noticed he had managed to pull a small smile from Arthur. “Anyway,” he broke the silence after realizing his eyes had been lingering a little too long on Arthur’s lips. “Welcome to the Crystal Cave.”

* * *

“The Crystal what now?” Arthur inquired in disbelief.

Merlin’s base of operation – his goddamn basement – was a parody of Avalon’s old headquarters.

“It’s mythological, like Avalon. Balinor helped me set it up,” Merlin informed him as he followed Arthur’s questioning gaze through the surroundings.

Arthur nodded distractedly, still surveying the place, only half listening as Merlin told him of how Balinor had recruited him right after uni. But instead of all the secrecy from Arthur’s operation, Merlin had chosen to hide in plain sight, carrying out a regular life while working his magic aside at the same time.

It only downed on Arthur when he found himself facing the set of monitors on the desk. “You’re a vigilante.” It wasn’t a question.

Merlin snorted. “I wouldn’t put it like that.”

“You can’t possibly tell me the Prime Minister has sanctioned this,” Arthur said, although doubt crossed his mind when he noticed how high-tech Merlin’s equipment actually was. “Who’s financing this, anyway?”

“I am,” Merlin declared, sounding offended that Arthur had thought otherwise. And while Arthur was sure _Dragonlord_ had sold its fair share of copies, he was certain it hadn’t been enough to turn Merlin into a British Tony Stark. Merlin read the disbelief on his face. “I have a few patents under my name,” he clarified. “The game is not my only source of income.”

“All the same, Merlin. Why are you doing this?”

“I told you, there are still people to protect.”

“Who? Balinor?”  There would always be people to protect. Arthur didn’t think Merlin was naïve enough to believe otherwise. The only thing that’d make sense would be if the was personal for Merlin.

Merlin opened his mouth but after a moment he closed it again before fishing his phone from his jeans and waving it in front of Arthur.

“Sorry, I have to get this,” he said, leaving Arthur alone in the basement without another word.

* * *

Unlocking the screen of his phone Merlin went straight to the inbox app.

The email was from Daegal, just as Merlin expected. It was brief and to the point, which was one of the reasons Merlin liked the boy so much, that, and Daegal’s ability to bullshit his way in and out of things. Merlin was half afraid that would also be the lad’s downfall.

_He’s back in town._

There was a picture attached to email. Evidence.

The man’s face was turned to the camera, almost as if he’d been looking right at it, though Merlin knew for certain that was not the case. Daegal was good at what he did.

At first, Merlin only took notice of the person in the photograph. He looked exactly the same as he did the last time Merlin had seen him. The shoulder-length hair was tied back; the collar of the black coat was turned up, a protection against the rain.

And then he noticed the building behind the man. Merlin knew that place, he had spent six years of his life there. He was at Camelot University.

Merlin’s heart was suddenly beating a lot faster than a moment ago. He quickly closed the email app, pressing a few buttons to access the camera from the drone he had left guarding Arthur’s house.

Daegal’s email had come twenty minutes ago.  Following a hunch, Merlin went back forty minutes on the recording. And bingo! There he was, a faceless thug leaving through the back door. Merlin couldn’t enhance the image from his cellphone, though there was no need of that to confirm the sense foreboding that the man didn’t mean well.

Merlin went backwards on the video until he got to the part where the man entered, without much effort, inside the house. He stayed there for six minutes only. It was enough for Merlin to be sure he wasn’t looking for anything – or he wouldn’t give up that easily – and the fact that he left empty handed proved it wasn’t burglary.

If the man hadn’t taken anything, the alternative was a lot scarier.

He might have left something.

Merlin’s mind went straight to the worst case scenarios.

There could be a bomb at Arthur’s house, or perhaps a gas leak, something which would immediately kill Arthur as soon as he stepped inside the house.

Merlin couldn’t let Arthur leave until he was sure his place was safe.

“Aithusa, where’s Arthur?”

 _“He is still inside the Crystal Cave. Shall I call for him?_ ”

“No, no.” Merlin’s mind was running a mile a minute. He had no idea what he could possibly say to Arthur that would make him stay there while Merlin left to go inspect his house. He couldn’t lie to Arthur’s face, he would see right through Merlin, he always did. Unless… unless he didn’t see his face. “Aithusa,” he called.

“ _Yes, Merlin.”_

“Lock him there until I get back.”

“ _Shall I warn him?”_

“No, don’t talk to him.” Merlin then remembered Arthur was armed. If Merlin left without talking to him first Arthur would shoot the door down. And while Merlin knew for certain the door was bulletproof he was sure the computers, and Arthur himself, would be defenseless against the ricochet. “Shut the power down,” he commanded.

Arthur was already pounding on the door when Merlin reached it.

“Merlin, get me out of here!” He screamed from the other side.

“I can’t – sorry.”

“What do you mean, you can’t? Open the door.”

“It’s electric.”

“You can’t be serious. You don’t have a key?”

“No, you saw me typing the password to open it.”

“Merlin, I’m not kidding. Get. Me. Out. Now,” Arthur demanded, a furious thud accompanying each word.

“I’m not kidding, the power’s down for the whole block,” Merlin lied. “I’m going to go ask the neighbors if they know what happened.”

“Don’t you dare leave me here,” Arthur raged.

“I’ll be quick,” Merlin promised, already walking away from the door.

“Merlin!”  He heard Arthur shouting one last time before leaving the house, stopping for a moment to make sure Arthur’s screams wouldn’t actually be heard from outside. People would definitely call the police if they noticed the cries for help coming from a basement. It was kidnapping one-oh-one, and Merlin was not getting arrested for it.

* * *

Arthur was going to kill Merlin. Forget about invisible threats from nameless organization, never mind the terrorists. Arthur would be the one to squeeze Merlin’s neck.

He stopped calling out after a few minutes. Merlin was most likely already gone to _talk to his neighbors_. Arthur scoffed. Whatever game Merlin was playing, it was not going as smoothly as he probably thought it to be.

For his part, Arthur was trying very hard not to let his mind wander to those thoughts at the back of his head saying he shouldn’t trust Merlin.

Sure, Merlin was acting exceptionally strange, but that might not mean anything. After all, it had been a long time since Arthur could have said he had at least some idea of what went through Merlin’s mind.

And wasn’t that the problem? He didn’t know Merlin anymore. When Merlin asked for his help Arthur jumped into action thinking about the boy he knew some years ago. The helpless civilian. The innocent kid.

This Merlin had built some sort of base of operations in his own house. With that many computers at his disposal it would not be far-fetched of Arthur to assume Merlin was keeping track of something and or someone. He suddenly realized Merlin hadn’t actually explained what he’d been doing with Balinor. He hadn’t explained anything.

Arthur was fighting really hard to not acknowledge the heavy feeling at the bottom of his stomach. Merlin was not a threat. He was a shitty liar, and he was definitely hiding something, but he was not a bloody terrorist.

Settling himself on one of the chairs with a sigh, Arthur decided he would extract all those answers from Merlin once he got back.

Along with a good smack on the back of his head for leaving Arthur locked up in the basement.

* * *

It wasn’t a bomb.

Merlin was really, honest to god thankful that it wasn’t a bomb. He didn’t actually know when he left his house how he would defuse it without accidently setting it off, and getting himself and Arthur’s entire block blown away in the process.

He had never dealt with a bomb before, never even seen one outside the movies. And, if it were up to him, Merlin intended to keep that score just as it was.

But what really put his mind at rest was the fact that the bloke he’d seen breaking in Arthur’s house was nowhere to be seen. If he had put a bomb there he would probably have stayed – within safe distance, of course – to detonate it remotely when he saw Arthur entering. But instead, Merlin had seen through the drone the man entering a nondescript silver sedan and leaving right after.

Merlin didn’t bother with the car. It would most likely result in a dead end, and he didn’t have any time to waste. Not with the goons, anyway. He had to get to the big fish.

Getting inside Arthur’s place was, well, a lot easier than Merlin would have expected. Arthur was, after all, a retired James Bond. It should not have been that easy to pick his lock. Merlin would have to subtly prompt Arthur into getting a better security system.

There was no time to dwell on that now, though. Merlin had to get back to his own house soon, or no doubt Arthur _would_ shoot his door down. Merlin rather liked his door how it was, with all its hinges in place.

Whilst Merlin hadn’t faced any problems to get in, actually finding what the man had left proved to be the real challenge. It was then that Merlin realized there was no bomb, which the man would have no reason to hide, or gas leak either. Looking around Merlin couldn’t find anything that would immediately kill Arthur.

He groaned in frustration. How was he supposed to find whatever it was, when Merlin didn’t know what Arthur’s place was normally meant to be in the first place?

Not for the first time Merlin found himself regretting his choice to respect Arthur privacy and not bugging his house. Even though he knew it in his heart he would never do that to Arthur, to anyone. Merlin drew his line at the drone surveillance, which was already pretty low to begin with.

He was treating Arthur like he was the bad guy in the story, keeping tabs of his every move. Merlin shouldn’t be doing that. But he didn’t see any other option to keep Arthur safe. It was that or actually letting Arthur in his basement until Merlin was sure no one else was after him.

Merlin wanted to believe he had chosen the lesser of two evils.

Glancing around the living room, his eyes caught something on the small table beside the sofa. Arthur had a landline. Merlin snorted. He looked at the picture next to the telephone. It was of Arthur, smiling at the camera as he held his nephew over his head. His sister Morgana standing at his side, she seemed to be laughing at Arthur.

It was quite a happy picture. And it wasn’t the only one.

Merlin smiled. The Arthur he knew a few years ago would never have allowed himself those personal touches. He would never have exposed himself like that. Not even after he had revealed to Merlin who he really was. Merlin had seemed his apartment. It was nothing like this.

He was glad for Arthur, he really was. Nevertheless, a part of Merlin couldn’t help but wonder how it would have been if they had stayed together. Would Merlin be a part of this? Would his face also feature in some of those photos? Perhaps he’d even live here. Maybe, somewhere along the years Arthur would have proposed. And Merlin would have said yes. And there would have been a wedding; his mom would have walked him to Arthur.

And then they would both be dead by now, because Merlin wouldn’t have seen it coming. Because Merlin would be playing house, Arthur would literally lose the life he’d dream about.

Merlin shook his head. No one could have it all, and he was no exception. He couldn’t protect Arthur and be with him at the same time. If he had chosen to have a life with Arthur he would have condemned the two of them.

“Well, be glad I’m not watching you in the shower,” Merlin told the Arthur in the picture. He pointed to the landline. “Or listening to your private conver – Fuck!”

Merlin practically jumped on the telephone as if it were about to leap away from him like a toad. Allowing himself a minute to marvel at his own stupidity as he grabbed the device and cracked it open with the small screwdriver he’d brought with him.

And there it was.

The bloke wasn’t trying to off Arthur, he wanted spy on him.

Oh, well, tough luck. Merlin might be relatively new to all of that shite but he’d always been a quick study. And he had learned this in his first year. Those people loved a good old-fashion bug.

He couldn’t kill it, though. Not without attacking attention to Arthur. He was supposed to be in the dark about this. But if Merlin couldn’t destroy it, he could at least jam the signal so that if they capture anything it would be mostly noise. He fiddle with the small chip before putting it back where he’d found it.

Merlin didn’t think there was a camera too. That would have been a lot harder to hide. But he wasted some time to search for one, just in case. And, as suspected, there was none.

Making sure everything was in the same way it had been when he entered, Merlin left Arthur’s house and ran back to his own.

* * *

“Arthur?” Merlin called, and, judging that it would be too suspicious if he opened the door as soon as he came back, he extended his lie by adding, “The power should be back in a few minutes.”

“Oh, already? I was having such a lovely time.” If Arthur’s words were liquid the venom in them would have melted the door.

“Well, maybe not with that attitude,” Merlin teased with a smirk Arthur couldn’t see.

“You’re so lucky you have a restroom in here,” Arthur replied in a way that Merlin couldn’t quite point if he was being serious or not. He decided he didn’t want to know. “Merlin?” This time Arthur’s voice was quieter, there was no sarcasm in it.

“Yeah,” Merlin answer in much the same way as he sat on the floor, resting his back against the door and brought his knees up to his chest.

“What are you doing?” Arthur’s voice was close enough for Merlin to presume Arthur was leaning against the door as well.

Merlin considered saying that he was waiting for the power to come back, but he was well aware that it was not what Arthur was asking. Merlin had already tried his patience enough for the day. It was time to oblige.

“I couldn’t just go back to my life pretending this didn’t exist. Pretending everything was fine. Not after I saw how much some people have to pay to keep the rest of the world living in ignorance,” Merlin confessed, glad that he had the door between them, so that he didn’t have to face Arthur as he spoke.

“There’ll always be shite in the world, Merlin. It’s not your fault,” Arthur tried to coax.

“Yeah, but I can’t turn a blind eye either,” Merlin insisted.

“Is that what you think I did?” Arthur asked in a small voice, Merlin could hear the insecurity behind his words.

“God, no!” He was quick to reassure. “No, I’ll never think that about you. You gave your life to protect this country.” Arthur had done more than anyone could have asked of him. “You deserve some break, Arthur. I told you, you deserve to be happy,” Merlin said, hoping that Arthur would hear how much he meant his every word. “I’m not asking you back in.” Merlin needed Arthur to know that. “You have the life you wanted, I’m glad.”

Arthur snorted.

“What?”

“You think I have all I wanted?” If Merlin didn’t know any better he’d have said Arthur sounded almost hurt. It was probably just his imagination though.

“You’re a lot more relaxed, can’t deny that,” Merlin prompted.

“And that means I’m happy?”

Merlin had no way of answering that, so he just pressed some buttons on his phone for Aithusa to turn the power back on and unlock the door.

* * *

Happy. There was a time Arthur had considered himself a happy man. However, he couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something missing. He was certainly happier than he had ever been, now that he lived more of normal life. But that didn’t mean he had everything he’d ever wanted, like Merlin seemed to assume.

For starter, Arthur was lonely. His father was dead, his sister and nephew were in another country. Aside from Gaius Arthur couldn’t really say he had friends. Co-workers didn’t really count, did they?

Arthur pushed those thoughts aside for the moment, though. Arthur’ personal life was not something Merlin needed to know. And besides, Merlin was the one who owed him some serious explanations.

Once he was out of the blasted basement, Arthur made good on his promise to himself, cuffing Merlin on the back of the head.

“Ow!” Merlin complained. “What was that for?” He asked, rubbing the spot where Arthur had hit him.

“For leaving me there, obviously,” Arthur explained, bypassing Merlin and throwing himself heavily on Merlin’s sofa once he got to the living room.

“I told you, the powe –” Merlin had the nerve to try the story again. Arthur had to admire his commitment.

But he didn’t have to endure it.

“Oh, please,” he cut Merlin mid-sentence. “Spare me the agony of watching you trying to lie, _Mer_ lin.” Arthur smirked at Merlin’s panicked face. “You won’t make the telly, let’s establish that.”

Merlin seemed to be considering his next move. After a moment he shook his head and sat next to Arthur. “You’re an arse,” he accused, though there was no heat behind his words. He looked slightly troubled, but not actually mad.

Arthur nudged Merlin’s knee with his own. “Yes, I believe that debate has been settled about five years ago.” Merlin just rolled his eyes. He was waiting for Arthur to get to the point, and so he did. “What do you need?”

Merlin didn’t beat around the bush this time. “Contacts, I’ve to expand my network. You still got people you trust inside, right?”

Not really. Avalon had been really a closed organization. The only ones with actual connections outside their small group were Uther, and, well, Balinor. Although Gwaine always knew a ton more than he was supposed to, and by extension so did Morgana. So, really, Arthur was the last person Merlin should be asking that to.

But Merlin wasn’t aware of that, and Arthur used his lack of knowledge as leverage.

“First tell me why did you lock me up?” Arthur demanded.

“I panicked.”

“That was obvious. Why?”

Merlin sighed. He tilted his head to the side to inspect a sudden interesting spot on his carpet, as he scratched at his beard.

“Arthur, I don’t want anything bad happening to you,” Merlin declared, finally looking up at him. Arthur could hear to urgency in his every word.

For the first time since he came here – no, scratch that – for the first time since the videos, Arthur was one hundred percent sure Merlin was telling the truth. It scared him a little. Merlin had been acting weirdly and deflective up until now. And the first time he decided to open up was to tell Arthur he was worried about him? It made no sense.

“I’m not in danger.” Arthur felt like he should reassure Merlin of that.

“No,” Merlin agreed, though it seemed more as if he was saying that to himself. Arthur had the feeling he was missing an important part of the conversation, which seemed to be mostly taking place inside Merlin’s head.  “Let’s keep it that way,” Merlin said, completely focused on Arthur this time.

Merlin was still a conundrum to him.

It frustrated Arthur beyond belief.

“And Balinor,” Arthur said, trying to put the pieces together. “You need connections to help you find him.”

“Will you help?”

“You have to tell me what you know so far. When was the last time you saw him, what did he say to you, what were you two working on?”

Merlin just shook his head at every question. “No, I’m not involving you in this mess.”

Arthur huffed frustrated. “You just asked!”

Merlin turned on the sofa, tugging a leg under the other. “You keep talking but you’re not listening. Names and phone numbers, that’s all I need from you, Arthur.”

Instead of telling Merlin he didn’t have anything to give him, Arthur chose to get more information. “What about the Dragonlord’s intel?” He inquired. Balinor being Uther’s second in command meant his clearance was a lot broader than Arthur’s.

“He didn’t – there’s nothing. When your father put an end to Avalon he closed all the doors.” Arthur knew that, Uther had pulled some serious strings to get them all off the government’s hands, which meant that had been a one way ticket. The Prime Minister had been very clear, if Avalon was gone they were _all_ out, and nobody could go back.

In all honesty, Arthur didn’t really think the PM was all that devastated in seeing them go. Their organization had always hanged a little too close to the edge of illegality. If they had been Snowden’d, shite would’ve hit the fan, epically. True, they had never torture or threatened anyone. But Avalon did eliminate threats at the root. Arthur wasn’t naïve, he knew exactly what happened after they delivered a name to the Minister.

“Yes, to ensure our safety,” Arthur explained.

“Yeah, but Balinor didn’t want out,” Merlin retorted. “That’s the reason we build the Crystal Cave, he wanted to keep doing his work, but he needed assets so he asked me –”

“Assets?” Arthur interrupted with an angry snort. “I honestly don’t know who’s more unbelievable out of the two of you.” Arthur felt like he couldn’t sit still, he was too agitated so he got off the sofa and started to pace in front of it. “The man who leaves you and your mother to _protect you_ ,” Arthur made quote marks with his fingers, just in case the sarcasm in his voice had gone unnoticed. Merlin opened his mouth but Arthur didn’t give him a change to start. “Or you,” he pointed accusingly at Merlin. “Who told me this wasn’t the life you wanted, who told me this wasn’t for you.” He was almost shouting at this point. “You made it clear when you broke – you made it clear that day at the hospital.”

Merlin’s jaw had been locked tightly, his gaze hard while his eyes followed Arthur back and forth. All that dissolved       when Arthur mentioned their last real talk. His features crumble and, if Arthur didn’t know any better he would say Merlin was about to start crying.

“People change,” Merlin said at last, glancing at Arthur through his lashes.

Not for the first time Arthur surprised himself thinking that he finally had the kind of life he could have shared with Merlin. He sat down again with a sigh. “It seems like yet again we are in opposite ends, Merlin.” Taking his phone from his pocket, Arthur unlocked the screen and opened his contacts list. He scrolled through it until he found what he was looking for. He passed the mobile to Merlin.

“What’s this?” Merlin asked, looking from the phone on his hand to Arthur’s face.

“Leon Knight. He’s MI6. It’s the best I can do for you.” Arthur finally told the truth, though he left behind the part where he would definitely do some digging of his own.

Merlin copied the number to his own mobile and returned Arthur’s. “Thank you,” he said as he handed back the device. And the next thing Arthur knew Merlin was planting a chaste kiss on his closed lips. It was so quickly Arthur half wondered if it had happened at all. “I wish we were,” Merlin said with a sad smile. Arthur didn’t understand what he was saying but then he clarified. “On the same side, I mean.”

Arthur had no answer for that. He thought that him and Merlin, they had had their closure. Apparently, he was wrong. The evidence was clear, not only by Merlin’s action but also by the pounding of his own heart. He had no idea those feelings were still inside of him. Arthur no longer knew how to deal with them, it had been so long.

So he chose the easiest way out, and clearing his throat he announce, “I should go.”

While Arthur didn’t exactly know what kind of answer Merlin had been expecting from him, his low chuckle certainly threw Arthur off a little. “Does this feel like déjà vu? I make some sort of move and you run away.”

“You remember that?”

“Considering how drunk I was that’s kind of a miracle, right?”

“Merlin, I’m –”

“Going,” Merlin completed for him, and for once Arthur was glad. He wasn’t really sure how he was going to finish that sentence anyway.

Merlin got off the sofa and walked Arthur to the front door. Arthur stopped just outside the threshold and turned to him with a raised eyebrow. “You’re not doing anything stupid, are you Merlin?”

Merlin offered him a shit-eating grin in response. “Who? Me?” He asked with before closing the door on Arthur face.

* * *

After waiting a few minutes to make sure Arthur was really gone, Merlin asked Aithusa to do a background check on Leon Knight.

The results showed that he really was a knight in shining armor. Though he didn’t actually have a knighthood, the man did come from noble blood.

Trust Arthur to find a secret agent that could be even more posh than he was.

Regardless, though, Leon seemed like a trustworthy bloke. Merlin chose to at least give him the benefit of the doubt after skimming thought the information he found.

Now all he had to do was call the man.

It didn’t even ring.

 _“Who is this?”_ Leon’s voice was a bit rasp. Merlin could imagine why.

“Merlin,” he answered gingerly with a shrugged.

 _“Merlin,”_ Leon repeated slowly. _“Well, Merlin, could you clarify some information for me please_.” Merlin nodded in agreement before he realized Leon couldn’t see him, and then he voiced his consent. _“First of all, how do you have this number? And why can’t I see_ your number? _And also… are you really calling me from the middle of the Pacific Ocean?”_

As Merlin had suspected, this wasn’t Mr. Knight’s personal number. Merlin’s call must have trigged all sorts of alarms in his mind. Although any kid could block a number, Merlin was pretty sure Leon’s phone was prepare for that, and it could also apparently track down the caller’s location.

Well, it _would_ do all that, if it was someone other than Merlin, he’d been dealing with.

“I’m sorry for all the secrecy, Mr. Knight,” he apologized sincerely. “It’ll all make sense in a moment.”

_“It better.”_

“I’m a friend of Arthur Pendragon,” Merlin started by what he thought would make things clearer for Leon.

 _“Go on,”_ he conceded, sounding a lot less closed off than a moment ago.

“I need your help.”

_“What for?”_

“To save his life.”

To Merlin’s complete surprise Leon laughed.  _“Listen, if this is a threat you need to work on some –”_

He was so stunned by the response, it took Merlin a minute to catch on what Leon was saying, but when he did he cut him.  “What? No!”  Merlin exclaimed outraged. “I – I just said I’m trying to save –” he stammered. “What’s wrong with you?”

Leon snorted over the phone. _“What’s wrong with,_ you _, Merlin?_ ” He asked, sounding more amused than he had any right to. _“You do realize you called the private number of an MI6 agent to talk about life threat.”_ And even though Merlin couldn’t see him, he could picture the kind of face Leon was probably doing.

Leon didn’t need to like him; Merlin just needed him to like Arthur enough to help.

“Listen, I don’t care how I sound,” Merlin said, losing the rest of his patience. “But I do need your help, so.” He took a deep breath to try and calm himself before asking, “Can you help me?”

 _“Alright, Merlin. You got a pen?”_ Leon waited for Merlin to answer and then he ordered. _“Write this address down,”_ he said, giving the address of a mall at the other end of the city. _“I’ll meet you there in thirty minutes_.”

“Oka-” Merlin started to reply automatically as he finished writing it, stopping when he noticed what Leon had just said. “Wait, what? That’s on the other side of the city,” he complained. “I can’t possibly be there in thirty minutes!”

“ _Thank you, Merlin. Now I know where you are_.” Merlin just barely fought the urge to face palm. Sure, Leon didn’t have his actual location but even then, for a secret agent, Merlin just gave him more than enough to work with.

Not that it mattered that much that Leon knew his address. But Merlin would prefer if he didn’t.

Come to think of it, he’d prefer if Mr. Knight didn’t see his face at all. That was the part of the business Merlin hated the most, the exposure. So far all he had done it was sit behind the computer and do his thing.

Now, to actually go out and show himself for those people… it was a whole other problem altogether. Merlin wasn’t stupid, he knew he didn’t stand a chance against people who were probably trained to kill with their pinkies.

Logically, he knew Leon was not going to try and kill him – though he could throw Merlin in prison or something – but Merlin would never expose himself like that.

If it wasn’t for Arthur, that was.

“Fine,” he agreed. And then as an afterthought he added, “And bring your wallet, Mr. Knight. You’re paying my cab fare.”

* * *

Merlin was late, of course he was. He hadn’t been joking when he’d said the address Leon gave him was on the other side of town.

Also, he had to pay the cab fare himself.

Leon Knight was, well… He was the kind of man Merlin would expect to be at the front row of a Shakespeare play. Sure, he looked just as posh as Arthur, but he didn’t give off the James Bond vibe, not like Arthur; which probably worked well for him, Merlin supposed, giving his line of business.

Merlin found him, or rather, _he_ found Merlin at the small coffee shop kiosk  the just outside the mall. Apparently, pulled up hoodies and sunglasses weren’t as inconspicuous as Merlin had thought they were.

“Sorry, I didn’t get the dressing code,” he had retorted after Leon had pointed Merlin was sticking out like a Christmas tree in July.

“Now,” Leon announced after they found a place to sit, where they could talk with some relative privacy. “On to business, Mr. Emrys,” he smiled sharply.

“How do you –” Merlin began but then he thought better of it and just shook his head resigned. “You know what, never mind.” Leon just waited for him to get to it, so Merlin did. “You have to give me your word you won’t tell anyone about this.”

Leon rested his elbows on the table, leaning forward. “This is serious, isn’t it?” He seemed to be asking that more to himself than to Merlin, as if he was finally realizing this wasn’t a joke. “Alright,” he agreed, nodding for Merlin to keep going.

“What do you know about Avalon?” Merlin asked as he fished his mobile from his pocket.

“I know is over,” Leon answered narrowing his eyes at Merlin. “And that you should not know about its existence.”

Merlin shrugged unconcerned. “It seems that we both know more than we should.”

“Yeah,” Leon conceded. “But I’m paid for it.”

“Who says I’m not?” Merlin shot back, even though he was well aware Leon wouldn’t buy that for a second.

“I don’t think we’d be meeting like this if you were supposed to know all you do, Merlin,” Leon said matter-of-fact, proving Merlin’s point. “I’ve only heard rumors of it.”

Now, that was odd. Leon knew Arthur, but he sounded like he didn’t know Arthur was part of Avalon. Merlin decided to test the waters, “You know who was in it?”

Leon cleared his throat, clearly not comfortable with Merlin knowing more than him about the subject. “I’ll make an educated guess and say that Arthur worked for Avalon.”

“You really didn’t know?”

“I knew he worked for the government, I just didn’t know what branch,” Leon confessed.

“This is all beside the point anyway,” Merlin said dismissively as he unlocked the screen of his phone. He slid the mobile across the table to Leon. “I’m pretty sure you know _him_.”

Leon glanced at the screen and then back at Merlin with a frown. “What does _he_ have to do with this?” He asked pointing at the screen.

Merlin didn’t want to share too much with Leon. For all he knew, Leon could probably end up shooting him or something. He could be working for the enemy. He could _be_ the enemy.

But Merlin was running out of options, and Arthur seemed to trust Leon, so Merlin would have to as well.

Taking a deep breath he prepared himself to tell the truth. “He wants everyone from Avalon gone. He wants ‘em dead.”

Leon shook his head. “No, you’re mistaken, he’s –”

“He’s dangerous,” Merlin interrupted loudly. He casted a worried look around, but no one seemed to be paying them any mind.

Leon did his own check and once he was satisfied he turned back to Merlin and said it quietly, “How can you be so sure?”

“Because he’s already started,” Merlin explained with a grave expression. “He killed the Dragonlord.” 

* * *

Arthur had met Leon ten years ago, when he had indulged himself with a membership of the club near the apartment he used to live in, along with the rest of the people who worked for Avalon.

He had chosen that particular club mainly because it had its own football team. And one of Arthur’s biggest regrets about growing up in a partially reclusive system was that he had never had the chance to join a team.

So when he saw an opportunity arise in the form of a flyer someone had left on his windshield, Arthur embraced it.

Arthur hadn’t had that many chances to play with anyone beside his father when he was little, and then with Gwaine later on. But he knew he was good, he was a strategist and he was quick. Arthur had the makings of a good leader, and he knew that too. So it wasn’t much of a surprise when they told you he’d made the cut.

It didn’t take long for him to make to captain either.

But that was when he started to get a little too much attention to himself, and Uther taught it would be ill-advised to keep on playing. Arthur had obliged with a heavy heart – not for the first time second-guessing all the sacrifices he had to do for Avalon – though he knew his father was right.

And the biggest prove of that was Leon Knight.

Leon and Arthur had hit it off from the start. He was good at following Arthur’s commands on the field; every move they made so in sync with each other. All that plus Leon was a friendly bloke as well; they shared some similar tastes outside football, too. But when their conversations inevitably came down to what they did for living.

 Leon was as mysterious and quick to sidestep the subject as Arthur, if not more.

They were both instantly suspicious of one another. Hence Arthur bugging Leon’s gym bag… and Leon returning the courtesy by doing the same with Arthur’s tennis shoes.

They had to sit down and have one of the most awkward conversations of Arthur’s life after that. For almost half an hour Leon and he kept dodging questions or answering them with yet another. It  was annoying as hell, so when they had finally call it quits Leon had confessed, assuming that Arthur would do the same, which he did, sort of.

He told Leon he was under Her Majesty’s services. Very, very under. Leon was a smart man, he knew better than to pry.

Unfortunately they were not able to keep in touch – even though they had exchange numbers – after Arthur left the team.

But now was as good time to catch up as ever. Especially after Arthur had given Merlin Leon secure number.

He just hoped Leon wouldn’t mind much.

 _“Are you out of your mind, Arthur?”_ It’ was the greeting he received seconds after pressing the call button.

“What did he tell you?” He answered with another question, just like old times.

 _“Plenty,”_ Leon scoffed _. “He told me a lot more than I wanted to know.”_ He sighed. _“Hell, he told me things I’m not supposed to know, Arthur. What am I going to do now? I can’t just sit on this information!_ ” Leon exhaled another frustrated sigh.

Arthur could picture him running a nervous hand through his curly hair, making a mess of it in the process. He felt sorry for putting Leon on this position. Leon was the kind of person who did everything by the books. And this whole situation was way, way beyond that.

_“He’s a civilian, Arthur. What the hell?”_

“Look,” Arthur began, trying to placate Leon’s nerves. “Merlin knows a great deal about our world,” he explained while he paced back and forth in front of his bed. “And he’s smarter than he looks,” he added defensively.

 _“Arthur, he –”_ Leon hesitated for a moment, but Arthur chose to wait for him to finish. _“He shouldn’t be messing with this.”_

And it was Arthur’s time to heave in frustration, “Are you going to tell me what he told you?” He was getting more and more concerned by the minute. Every word out of Leon’s mouth made him want to run back to Merlin’s house and get him somewhere safe.

 _“Of course not,”_ Leon answered, completely deadpanned. _“I’ll do what I can to help you,_ ” he continued in a softer manner. _“But you need to tell him to back off, Arthur. This is serious.”_

Arthur stopped pacing and sat down heavily at the bottom of the bed. He used his free hand to rub at his face, noticing absently that he was in need of a shave.

“I’ll talk to him,” he promised at last, knowing full well that he wouldn’t get anything else from Leon. Not right now, anyway.

_“Good. Oh and, Arthur?”_

 “Yeah?”

 _“You should show up for a match sometime, mate,”_ Leon invited shyly.

“You still hang out with the same crew?” Arthur snorted, it had been a long time since he saw most of them, and they probably didn’t even remember him.

 _“Hell, yeah,”_ Leon confirmed cheerfully. _“We’re a team. And we miss our best captain.”_

Arthur felt his heart warm with those words. It wasn’t just the compliment, it was the sincerity on Leon’s words, the fact that he and the guys still remembered – and missed – Arthur’s role on the team, even after all those years. It felt good to know people remembered him.

“Alright, I’ll see if I can clear some time for you ugly sods in my schedule,” he joked to try and shake his embarrassment. He was not getting emotional about an amateur football team. He was not.

Leon replied with a laugh loud enough for Arthur to have to hold his phone a few centimeters away from his ear, even though he joined Leon in it.

When they quieted down Leon cleared his throat and said _“You do that.”_ Then in a more serious tone, _“Take care of yourself, Arthur. You’re right, you’re boy’s smart, pay attention to him.”_

“I will,” Arthur made yet another promise, before hanging up. A whole lot more questions running through his mind.

* * *

Merlin barely slept. His mind kept running as if he had drunk a full gallon of coffee. He was aware of every sound coming from outside his house. He wanted to call Leon again and ask what he was doing to help, but Leon would most definitely shoot him if Merlin did that.

Once he gave up sleep he went down to the Crystal Cave to check on the feed from his drone. There was nothing. Which was a good sign, but it still didn’t put him at ease.

He was taken from his thoughts a few hours after sunrise by Aithusa’s voice announcing he had a visitor.

It was Daegal.

“Morning, boss,” he greeted cheerfully as he completely forwent invitation, sidestepping Merlin to drop himself like a sack of potatoes onto Merlin’s couch.

Merlin groaned. “I told you to stop calling me that. I’m not your boss.”

“Yes, you are,” Daegal disagreed from where he was half lying, half sitting on the sofa, a leg propped on it, his arms behind his head to serve as a cushion. He raised his other leg to rest it on the coffee table, but Merlin slapped it before he had the chance.

“No, I’m not,” he explained, taking his own place on the sofa. “I don’t pay you.”

“You do,” Daegal countered with a smirk. And Merlin had the sudden wish to change all of his locks, and maybe check his bank account more often. He should really do that. But for now he pushed those thoughts aside and focused on the reason Daegal was probably there for.

“Ok, so tell me what you found out about him?”

Daegal sat up a bit straighter so that he could see Merlin better. “Well, I know he’s not gay,” he proclaimed. And yeah, that wasn’t actually relevant, but Merlin was only human and he had to ask.

“How do you know that?”

“Cause I tried to flirt with him,” Daegal explained as if it, somehow, that should’ve been obvious. It wasn’t. It was disturbing that he would take _that_ course of action, but Merlin’s wasn’t one to pass on judgement, though he did worry about the kid sometimes.

“Why did you,” he began with a frown before stopping mid-sentence, and waiving his hand dismissively. “You know what, never mind,” Merlin said then, deciding he neither wanted nor had to know that. What else do you know?”

“That he doesn’t like when blokes flirt with him,” Daegal answered, pulling a face as he rubbed the left side of his jaw. “But also that he’s been asking ‘round about your man, Arthur.”

“Arthur’s not my anything,”

“Yeah, you keep telling yourself that,” Daegal muttered.

Merlin scowled at him.

“He asked the owner of that pub near your uni if the teachers go there.” _Professor_ , Merlin corrected mentally, but he didn’t interrupt. “Tried to be subtle, but he fail when he kept asking ‘bout the new ones. If they go there, how often and stuff.”

“And the owner said?” Merlin prompted.

“He mentioned Arthur, said he goes there sometimes. Always orders the same drink.”

“Fuck,” Merlin exhaled.

Daegal nodded in agreement. “I’d be drinking my scotch at home if I were your boyfriend.”

Merlin threw a cushion on his face. “Not my boyfriend.”

Daegal just cackled in response. “What about you, find anything?”

Merlin sighed. “They’re watching him,” Merlin announced. “Just listening,” he clarified.” Not even that, actually. I messed with their bug.”

“Okay, but why the surveillance? Why not just kill him already?” Daegal asked.

Merlin rolled his eyes. “May I remind you that we don’t want that. That’s the opposite of what we want.” It was ridiculous that Merlin had to make clear what their purpose was, but apparently he had to. “Also, you watch too much telly.”

Daegal all but pouted in response, crossing his arms defensively over his chest while mumbling something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like a “so do you”. Merlin chose to ignore that.

Although, come to think of it, Daegal did have a point. If they knew where Arthur was, why wait? Why not just kill him? Unless…

Unless they didn’t know who he was. 

It made sense, Avalon had been pretty secret. So in that case these people might just be waiting for some sort of confirmation.

Balinor had been a relatively easy target, since he had continued working, even though he was no longer under the protection of the government. He had told Merlin once that any trace they might eventually leave behind – like credit card bills or whatever required their names, since they didn’t use fake ones – was immediately erased, so that Avalon, and everyone in it, was kept under the radar. Merlin remembered Arthur telling him about how he and his sister didn’t even go to school.

It all stopped once Avalon was gone.

But every step they took prior to that…

To the rest of the world Arthur Pendragon had vanished when he was eleven years old, reappearing a few years ago as a university professor. There was a gap of over twenty year in Arthur’s history. And there was someone out there just waiting to fill in the blanks to order the kill shot.

Merlin felt cold. Balinor had deliberately exposed himself to the enemy. Merlin couldn’t allow Arthur to do the same.

He dismissed Daegal telling he had working to do.

“You should get some sleep, you look like shite,” the boy said before leaving.

Silver linings, Merlin thought bitterly. “At least I look better than I feel,” he murmured to the closed door.

* * *

Arthur had to see Merlin again; he also had a shitload of work to do. But he had to get some answers out of him; otherwise Arthur would burst a vein on his brain from overthinking.

He called Merlin during his lunch time, it went to voice mail.

“We’re having dinner at my house tonight,” he declared once Merlin’s recorded voice announced he was busy at the moment. “It’s not optional. I’ll text you the time later. Don’t be late.”

Merlin was late, of course he was.

“Sorry, I overslept,” he said when Arthur opened the door, though he didn’t sound very apologetic, at all.

“The entire afternoon?” Arthur asked in disbelief.

“Yes?” Merlin replied, as if there was nothing wrong with that. He followed Arthur to the kitchen. “Smells good, what did you cook?”

“I didn’t,” Arthur explained. “It’s Thai takeaway.”

Behind him Merlin made a tsking sound. “Losing your touch, Pendragon,” he provoked. “You used to be more romantic.”

“Shut up, Merlin,” Arthur said, feeling himself blush.

They set the table in companionable silence, only broken when Arthur had to tell Merlin where the plates and glasses were.

Arthur had promised himself he wouldn’t approach the subject until they had both finished eating. He remembered how Merlin was on empty stomach. Arthur would get nothing but whining and complaining if Merlin was hungry.

So they enjoyed a quiet dinner, and when Merlin put his fork aside Arthur mirrored him, taking a sip of his wine to wash off some of the strong flavor from his mouth.

He placed the glass back on the table and wiped the corners of his lips with a napkin. Merlin was vacantly gazing around the living room. Arthur cleared his throat to draw his attention back to him.

“Hm?” Merlin asked with an arched eyebrow.

“What did you tell Leon?”

Merlin barked a laugh. “It’s killing you to be in the dark, isn’t it?” Arthur glanced from his face to the wine glass in front of Merlin. While he supported the same glass throughout the entire dinner, Arthur did see Merlin refilling his own more than once. And now it was empty.

He rolled his eyes. “God, no!”

* * *

_Oh, yes,_ Merlin thought as he saw the look of realization dawning on Arthur’s face.

Merlin hadn’t meant to get drunk. And he wasn’t, not really. He was tipsy, his muscles were loose and his head was a bit lighter than when he got there, but his mind was still very much clear.

He wasn’t stupid. He knew exactly what Arthur’s intent was with that dinner. And now Merlin had the perfect excuse to babble nonsense once Arthur began with his bloody inquisition.

Merlin smirked in victory. “Good wine,” he complimented raising his glass.

“Don’t think you’re off the hook. I’ll make you a coffee so strong you’ll never get drunk again,” Arthur threatened.

Merlin cringed, though he didn’t know if it was because of the prospect of Arthur force-feeding him strong – and no doubt shitty – coffee, or that he could ever lose the ability to get pissed. That would be a tragedy.

“Come on, Merlin,” Arthur tried to reason. “Why are you making this so difficult? I can help you.” It pained Merlin to see the expression on Arthur’s face. He was probably thinking Merlin’s life was in danger. He was worried about Merlin.

What the hell was Merlin thinking when he tried to warn Arthur with those videos? It was clear the whole situation would backfire on him, because, if nothing else, Arthur was a stubborn prat. And Merlin already knew that. It had been a terrible plan.

Whoever was writing Merlin’s life right now, they should get fired.

He shifted in his seat, trying to come up with something that would take Arthur’s line of thoughts elsewhere. And, in a rush of panic, not knowing what to do next, Merlin saw only one option.

He stood up so abruptly he knocked his chair down. Arthur looked at him in confusion but Merlin didn’t give him time to ask any more questions. Launching himself forward he attacked Arthur.

Only he did it with his mouth.   

Merlin decided to kiss away all of Arthur’s worries. Although it wasn’t much of a kiss as it was a crush of lips. He heard Arthur’s surprised gasp and he swallowed it, seizing the opportunity of his open mouth to explore it with his tongue.

Now, this was a nice plan. Besides distracting Arthur Merlin also got the chance to do this again. And god, did he miss it!

Merlin had had his fair share of relationships and hook up over the years, he did. But no one ever compared to Arthur. Merlin always thought he was projecting, making a memory better than it had actually been. Especially when he had tried to convince himself Arthur was bad for him, that he was dangerous.

But that was stupid, wasn’t it? Merlin had been basically following on his footsteps the past five years. Only now, as Arthur had put it, they were on opposite sides. Arthur was safe, he was happy. He was also not kissing Merlin back. Quite the contrary, in fact, Merlin saw as he opened his eyes and realized Arthur was trying to gently get Merlin off of him.

Merlin stepped back and Arthur’s arms left Merlin’s shoulders and fell to his sides.

Try as he might Merlin couldn’t completely hide his disappointment.

“Woah, you really don’t want to talk,” Arthur said. And was that Merlin’s inebriate imagination or did he sound hurt? “I’ll get you that coffee.” Arthur didn’t wait for an acknowledgment before heading to the kitchen.

* * *

Arthur was astonished. Merlin preferred toying with his feeling than to ask him for help. No, Arthur shook his head as he prepared Uther’s raise-the-dead kind of coffee. It was the wine. That was the reason Merlin kissed him.

With that new resolve in mind Arthur finished the coffee – just Merlin’s, Arthur didn’t have to drink that, thank heavens – and marched back to Merlin fully prepared to pretend nothing had happened.

“Here,” he offered when he found Merlin on the living room.

“Arthur, I –” Merlin started as he took the cup from Arthur, their fingers brushing in the process but Arthur tried not to linger too much on details.

Instead he smiled to Merlin reassuringly. “You could never hold your liquor, I should’ve known better.”

Merlin chuckled. “Nothing wrong with Coke, but you had to be fancy.”

Arthur scoffed. “Drink your coffee,” he ordered, though he was grinning, relieved that Merlin was content with moving on from the incident as well.

Merlin took one sip from the cup and had to immediately fight his gag reflex. Arthur couldn’t blame him, it _was_ truly horrible. But Merlin was a brave man, though. He managed two more sips before giving it up and putting the cup on the coffee table.

That was when his attention was caught by something on one of the shelves next to the television set. Merlin walked over there and Arthur went with him to see what had drawn him.

Merlin stopped in front of the CDs and took one from the stack.

“You own an Adele CD,” Merlin said accusingly, shaking the CD in front of Arthur’s face. Arthur grabbed from his hands, feeling a slight blush creep up his face.

“So,” he asked defensively, “it’s not a crime.”

Merlin just grinned at him. “I just never pegged you for someone who enjoys heartbreak songs about exes.”

And were they really talking about _that_ after what just happened? Yep, it would appear so.

“Well, for your information I do happen to enjoy her songs very much. I’ve even been to a concert once,” Arthur admitted. He refused to feel ashamed of his music taste. There was no such thing as a guilty pleasure, if one owned one’s desires.

“So have I, actually,” Merlin confessed, all the teasing gone from his voice, which proved Arthur’s point of how no one could make fun of you when you carry an unapologetic attitude. But instead of throwing that on Merlin’s face, Arthur offered him a small, lopsided smile.  “It did make me think of you.”

“They are about exes, her songs” Arthur conceded. While he was a bit taken aback that Merlin admitted thinking about him, it wasn’t that far off the realm of possibilities. He was, after all, an ex, however briefly their relationship had been.

 _And he just kissed you ten minutes ago_ , Arthur’s brain supplied helpfully. He told his brain to shut the fuck up.

“And heartbreak,” Merlin added quietly.

“And that’s why you thought about me?” He had to ask, even though he wasn’t certain he wanted the answer to that.

Merlin just shook his head. Arthur chose to take that as a good sign. For what, he didn’t know. “Not really,” he said. “To be honest it was more like a daydream.” A part of Arthur wanted so bad to tease, the whole situation was so corny. But he couldn’t, for the life of him, find his own voice behind the sudden loud thud of his heart. “I kept thinking how it’d have been,” Merlin explained, “if you were there.”

“I would probably be singing along.” Arthur voiced the first coherent thought he could grasp.

Merlin nodded in agreement. “Probably, yeah. But what I was really wondering was – if you’d take me for a dance.” It sounded like a question, a request maybe. Arthur didn’t dwell much on it. Instead he walked to his stereo and put the CD in it.

“Let’s do it now, then.” Arthur turned to Merlin, offering his hand.

“Arthur?” Merlin glance up at him through his eyelashes, he was biting down on his lower lip. He let go of it to let out a nervous chuckle. “What are you doing?”

Arthur took a step forward, and to his credit, Merlin stayed where he was, though it was clear he was fighting the urge to flee for his life. It proved to Arthur how little Merlin had been thinking before he jumped on him. He’d acted on instinct, or whatever the hell had been going on in his head, but he didn’t plan it.

Merlin wasn’t trying to hurt Arthur. He would never do that, because Merlin was good. But he was scared. Scared _for_ Arthur, he realized, not _from_ him. Arthur would give him a break for now, though.

“May I have this dance?” Arthur asked with the most charming smile he could summon. 

“You don’t have to, Arthur,” Merlin sighed. He shook his head. “I wasn’t asking –”

“I am,” Arthur countered. If Merlin thought Arthur was acting out of pity or something, he was severely mistaken. “Merlin,” he said the name the way he knew it both irritated and delighted Merlin at the same time. “May I have this dance?” He repeated.

Merlin thought about it for a moment, before swallowing hard and taking Arthur’s hand. Arthur didn’t wait around for Merlin to change his mind. He quickly pressed play and then pushed Merlin’s body against his.

The shuffle mode was on, so the first song came at random. And as the first notes filled the room, Arthur took the time to briefly study Merlin; he was tense, blushing bright red. None of that was new to Arthur. What he _didn’t know_ were the muscles pressed up against him. He slid his left hand to the small of Merlin’s back, pretending not to notice the slight shiver it caused in its wake.

For his part, Merlin brought his free hand to rest on Arthur’s shoulder, and it was Arthur’s time to feel the goosebumps on his skin. Taking the lead he started to slowly rock their bodies left and right. It couldn’t really be called dancing, what they were doing, but it was a start.

A few seconds into the song Merlin finally started to relax, and Arthur was able to move him more freely.  Looking up at him, Arthur was about to offer him an encouragingly smile, which soon turned fond when he took notice of the small height difference between them. He’d actually forgotten Merlin was slightly taller.

Merlin returned his smile and it was then that Arthur began to pay attention to the song on the background of his thoughts.

_I don’t know why I’m scared. I’ve been here before…_

“Fitting.” The snort came from Merlin. Arthur couldn’t help but to agree.

He then surprised Merlin by spinning him around without warning. Merlin twirled under their raised hands with far  more grace than Arthur would have expected, though he did crash onto Arthur when he stopped, laughing lightly as he did.

Arthur realized he hadn’t seen Merlin being this carefree since the time he’d been still trying to decode the encryption on the flash drive. He also noticed how much he had missed those half-moons Merlin’s eyes turned into when he smiled like that.

Arthur took the opportunity to memorize every detail about it, just in case. And from the way he was being gazed upon, he would make a wild guess and say that Merlin was doing the same.

It felt like one of them should say something, but Arthur didn’t want to interrupt Adele as she made promises about being someone’s one and only. He quite agreed with her words, he wished he could sign his name under them.

Merlin also seemed to be at lost with his own words, or perhaps he really had nothing to say. Either way, after one more glance he hid his face on the crock of Arthur neck.

“It’s better,” Merlin whispered on Arthur’s ear when the song was about to end.

“Hum?” Arthur questioned, not sure if he had missed a part of the conversation.

“This,” Merlin clarified, “it’s better than what I’d imagined.” The song ended and he untangled himself from Arthur, though not before leaving a kiss on his cheek. It was chaste and serene, nothing like the rushed snog from moments ago. More than that, it was honest.

For lack of something better to do with his hands Arthur spun around to turn off the stereo. However, there was nothing he could do about the ear-to-ear grin that threating to split his face in two.

* * *

Merlin’s heart was still beating a little too fast when something outside caught his attention. Arthur’s head was bowed where he was fiddling with the CD so he didn’t notice.

And Merlin had no time to warn him as he saw a glint of metal caught by the street light. He jumped over Arthur to tug him to the floor.

Arthur let out a huff in surprise at the same time Merlin heard the glass on the window break.

After a moment of complete silence Merlin finally found the courage to get himself off Arthur and, still on his knees, peer through the broken window. He thought he saw a shadow, but he wasn’t entirely sure.

He was more concerned in how Arthur would react to this. And more importantly, how Merlin would convince him not to go after whoever had just tried to kill him.

Arthur couldn’t expose himself. Balinor had exposed himself…

“I think he’s gone,” he announced still looking out the window. When he didn’t receive an answer Merlin looked down “Arthur?”

He was still where Merlin had dropped him. He was clearly breathing, but he wasn’t moving.

“Arthur?” Merlin called again, a little more urgent this time.

Getting closer he heard a small, pained moan in response.

Merlin grabbed Arthur by the forearm and flipped him around. “Arthur?” he urged, his voice a few tones away from complete despair now.

Arthur’s eyes were open though they didn’t seem like they were focused on anything. But Merlin’s attention was quickly snatched away from Arthur’s eyes to his stomach, where a red spot was making a fast job of changing the white status of Arthur’s shirt.

“Merlin,” Arthur coughed weekly.

“Yeah?” Merlin answered, his mind running wild trying to work a way to get them out of there fast.

“We have to stop doing this,” Arthur said, squeezing his eyes shut.

“What?”

Arthur chuckled faintly, pointing a finger to his belly.

Merlin let out a small laugh, in spite of it all. This really shouldn’t be funny. It wasn’t. But his mind was not in the right place right now. “Yep,” he agreed. “But I promise, next time someone needs to shoot one of us, they can use my place.”

Arthur snorted, and then scrunched his face in pain. ”Thanks,” he panted. “Really considerate of – you.”

Merlin nodded absently, and then hurried to get them to the safety of his own house.


	2. Chapter 2

Getting to Merlin’s house turned out to not be that difficult, as the person who had shot Arthur hadn’t stick around to see if they had completed the job or not. And the street was empty when Merlin half carried, half dragged Arthur to his car.

Arthur had been basically dead weight at that point, and almost passed out, though he had still found breath to tell Merlin that he wasn’t fat, after Merlin complained about him being heavy.

Arthur had indeed passed out after Merlin took the bullet from his abdomen, but, since his breathing was regular and he wasn’t losing that much blood anymore, Merlin let him be. Freya arrived shortly after to stich him up.

“It didn’t hit anything vital, you’re lucky.” She put him at ease.

He took both her hands on his and squeezed, not minding the blood on them. Merlin’s own where still stained with it. That didn’t matter though; all that mattered was that Arthur was still alive. “Thank, so much,” he said for about the tenth time. Freya was a saint, she had come to his aid, and she didn’t even asked questions, accepting Merlin’s evasive story.

Once Merlin had managed to get Arthur out of his house and bring him to Merlin’s, he had called her and she guided him through what he should do until she could get to them, since Merlin was afraid to take Arthur to a hospital, but he couldn’t just sit and do nothing while Arthur bleed out.

Thankfully he had Freya. They had become great friend after meeting in, well, similar circumstances. And now she was once again playing a vital part in Merlin’s life.

She blushed, ducking her head as she looked at him through her eyelashes. “It’s nothing.” Then she looked up horrified. “Not his life, I mean. I meant it wasn’t a problem, because we’re friends.”

Merlin smiled at her reassuringly. “Don’t worry, I understand.” He bent down and gave a quick kiss on her cheek. “You’re a great friend, Freya.”

She giggled shyly. “So are you.”

“So, uh.” Merlin felt guilty, he hadn’t been in touch with her in a few months, and the first time he calls is to ask for a favor which could cost Freya her job. He made a mental note to ask her out for drinks or something once this whole mess was over. “How’s Viv?”

And Freya made an expression that was so unlike her, Merlin was taken aback. “Yeah, we broke up,” she announced.

“Sorry to hear about that,” Merlin replied.

She snorted loudly, and immediately covered her mouth with a hand, casting her wide eyes to the bedroom where Arthur was sleeping. “Yeah, don’t be,” Freya said in a quieter manner.

Merlin’s mouth was twisted in an unhappy frown. “Is it bad if I say I never liked her?”

Freya – who seemed to have forgotten about the blood on her hands as well – patted him on the shoulder. “Don’t sweat,” she put him at ease with a grin.

Then, casting another look at the bedroom she dropped her hand and took a small yellow vial of pills from her bag. She handed it to Merlin. “Give this to him when he wakes up.” He nodded. “And if there’s any complication you call me, Merlin,” she said, so imperative Merlin had to tease.

“Yes, ma’am,” he said with a mocking salute.

Freya rolled her eyes at him. “I’m serious. I still think you should take him to a hospital.”

Merlin shook his head, all the mirth gone from his features. “It’s too dangerous.” He didn’t want to get her more involved in this than he already had, so Merlin left it at that. Lucky for him, Freya seemed to get it; she didn’t try to push it.

With a resigned sigh she zipped her bag, readjusting it on her shoulder, before glancing back at him. “Be careful.”

“I will,” he promised with a nod. “Are you sure you’ll be okay driving in the middle of the night.”

She checked the watch on her wrist. “It’s almost six,” she revealed, extending her arm so Merlin could see for himself.

“It’s still dark,” he tried to argue.

“I’m a grown-arse woman, Merlin. Have so respect.”

Merlin lifted his hands in surrender. “My mistake,” he chuckled, “forgot you had claws.”

Freya was still laughing when she got inside her car and drove off.

* * *

The first thing Arthur noticed upon waking up wasn’t the pain, no. That came later, almost as an afterthought when he remembered that, _oh right, I’ve been shot when I was seconds away from kissing Merlin again._ Merlin. Arthur held his breath for a tense moment until he realized Merlin wasn’t hurt.

Merlin was alright, and he had brought Arthur here. Arthur turned his head around to inspect where _here_ was. He was greeted by white walls covered with photos. Arthur even recognized some of the people in it. Lancelot and Guinevere, Merlin’s uni friends. His mother and… Was that Balinor with an arm across her shoulder?

Arthur had assumed too much time had passed for those two to connect again. Apparently he had been wrong.

The key information, though, was that he was currently in Merlin’s bedroom.

Summoning all the strength he could find – his side was really hurting now – Arthur took a deep breath and then shouted, “Merlin!”

And mere seconds later there he was, looking a mess and slightly out of breath from running – which also resulted in him almost crashing onto the door on his way in.

“Arthur,” Merlin breathed out, bending over to rest his hands on his knees. “How are you feeling?”

 _Like I’ve just been shot,_ Arthur thought bitterly. But there were more important things than to state the obvious. So instead of answering he shot Merlin his own question. “Merlin why am I not in a hospital?”

“Because you’d be too exposed there,” Merlin answered, looking everywhere but to Arthur’s face.

And Arthur had enough. Jesus Christ, he had had enough. He was done playing this game. “Why?” Arthur inquired, loud enough that he was practically shouting. Though he recovered his compose when he saw Merlin flinching in response, but he did not back down. “And for fuck’s sake stop lying to me!”

“I know who shot you,” Merlin confessed in a small voice. He approached Arthur slowly, probably afraid Arthur would lash out on him again. “You need to take this.” Merlin took a vial from his pocket and, popping it open, took one pill from it and handed it to Arthur. There was a glass of water on the nightstand and he passed that to Arthur as well. “Painkillers,” Merlin responded Arthur’s quizzical look.

Arthur took the medicine, but he still frowned in confusion from what Merlin had just revealed. “How do you know that?” It had been dark outside, there was no way Merlin could have seen a face, let alone recognize it, from the other side of the window.

“The drone caught him,” Merlin explained, which wasn’t really helpful, since Arthur didn’t know what he was talking about. “It’s the same man that put the bug on your landline.”

“Wait, wait, wait.” Arthur put his hands up to get Merlin to stop. His head was spinning and it wasn’t just from the painkillers. “First of all, what drone?” He asked, addressing the first topic on Merlin’s insane list.”

Merlin looked at him like he’s just been caught red-handed.

Arthur narrowed his eyes, glancing at Merlin suspiciously as he finally began to put the pieces together and cold realization washed on him. “You’ve been tailing me with a drone?” He asked in disbelief.

Merlin had the audacity to look affronted. “Oh, please. Don’t talk like you have a leg to stand on, _professor_ Pendragon.”

Arthur scoffed. “I never followed you!” He objected outraged.

“No, Arthur. You just straight out lied to me.”

Arthur shook his head to try and clear his mind. Who was this person in front of him? He knew Merlin! And this wasn’t him. Merlin was… Arthur sighed in defeat, banging his head on the headboard. Merlin was a man Arthur hadn’t seen in years.

“What happened to the boy I met only a few years ago?” Arthur remembered how amazed he had been with Merlin. He had been the purest person Arthur had ever met. Arthur remembered being awed, first by his look and then by how sweet Merlin was. He could not believe – he wouldn’t accept – that Merlin had changed like that. That what had happened to him, what Arthur had put him through, had turned him into someone darker.

He would never be able to forgive himself for being the person who had shut down Merlin’s light.

Merlin looked at him with a closed off expression. “He grew up,” he answered before turning around and leaving Arthur alone with his thoughts.

* * *

Judging by the time displayed on the digital alarm on the nightstand Arthur had slept for about eight hours. Merlin had left the medicine and another glass of water there for him, so Arthur took it. He tried to move and discovered that he actually could, if he did so very slowly.

He remembered Merlin had a girl Jarvis and asked her where he was.

With painfully slow and carful steps, Arthur found Merlin on the basement. He was sweating a lot and panting a little when he got there, but he made it without opening his stiches – which seemed very professional, by the way. He remembered Merlin takin the bullet out, but Arthur didn’t see him patching him up. He would have to ask how and who did that.

Merlin scolded at him for being out of bed when he saw Arthur. He pulled up a chair and practically forced Arthur to sit down on it. When Arthur asked about the suture Merlin told him about his friend Freya. Surprisingly, the same nurse who had been in charge of Merlin’s case when he got shot.

“Why are you here?” Arthur asked after a few minutes of brooding silence from both parts, with him glaring at the back of Merlin’s head, while the later was sulking in front of the computer, doing whatever it was that he did in that Cave of his.

“I live here.” Merlin answered flatly not even looking away from the monitor.

“ _Mer_ lin,” Arthur called, crossing his arms over his chest as he waited for Merlin to look at him.

When he did, whatever sassy response he was about to give withered and died under Arthur’s unimpressed glare. So he cleared his throat and said quietly, “I’m trying to protect you.”

Arthur glanced at Merlin with pleading eyes. “That’s not what I asked.”

Merlin’s shoulders slumped in defeat. He closed his eye tightly as he inhaled a shaky breath.

“When you broke up with me in that hospital you said this life wasn’t for you. What changed?”

“I did,” Merlin agreed as he finally opened his eyes. “I was young and scared,” he confessed.

“And you’re not anymore?”

“Scared?” He shook his head. “I’m terrified. I’m afraid all the time. Afraid for the people I care about. Afraid that a bomb will go off on the subway, or that, any minute now someone will declare war and we’ll be thrown so far back in time that we’ll be walking around with swords in our belts.”

Arthur wanted to scoff at Merlin for being dramatic, but he couldn’t. Not when he understood perfectly well where Merlin was coming from. He had felt the same for so long. Like the whole world was counting on Arthur for its protection, as if he alone had the job to ensure its safety. 

He wanted to tell Merlin that those illusions would only serve to hurt him. That a single man couldn’t carry that much on his shoulders and it would be foolish to think otherwise. “You’re beautiful,” was what came out if his mouth instead.

Merlin glanced at him with sorrowful eyes. “I shouldn’t have dragged you back into this.” He lowered his gaze. “Balinor was wrong,” Merlin admitted to his lap. “He said I should ask for your help, when we started this.”

“Why didn’t you?”

Merlin looked back at Arthur, his eyes were shining, he looked almost angry. “Because you were finally living the life you deserved. You were out! You had all you wanted.”

“Don’t presume to know what I wanted, Merlin,” Arthur lashed out, he had heard those words before, he couldn’t let it go this time, though. He wasn’t going to let Merlin get away with his assumption again.  “Not then and not now. You still have no clue.”

“So do tell me what you want, so I can magically make it come true.”

“I wanted you, you idiot.” Arthur’s response threw Merlin off, but he didn’t wait for a reply. Instead, he continued, “The life I wanted. It was with you.”

“Arthur,” Merlin began in a small voice, but Arthur had no desire to hear whatever he was about to say.

“Now you’re gonna get us both killed,” Arthur said knowing full well he was being mean, but he could bring himself to care now. He heaved himself from the chair with difficulty, shutting Merlin off when he tried to help. And then pretended he didn’t see Merlin angrily wipe a tear from the corner of his eye as he left the room.

* * *

Merlin cried. He cried like he hadn’t in a long time. He felt lost and small, and he just wanted Arthur to be safe. And then Arthur told him he wanted a life with Merlin. And Merlin had thrown it all away when he ended things with Arthur that day in the hospital. God! Life was such a cruel joke sometimes.

He allowed himself a few more minutes of self-pity then went to the bathroom to clean up his face. Merlin went back to the Cave to pick up his tablet and then marched to his bedroom, where he found Arthur lying on the bed with his eyes closed, either feigning sleep or just resting.

“Agravaine de Bois,” Merlin said. Arthur opened his eyes and sat up. Merlin continued, “He is a Secretary –”

“Of State,” Arthur concluded for him. “I know who he is.”

“He is the one trying to kill you,” Merlin revealed.

Arthur snorted amused. “Don’t be ridiculous, Merlin.”

But Merlin was already expecting that reaction so he simply waked over to the bed, unlocking his tablet. “I lied to you, you’re right.” Arthur rolled his eyes but Merlin ignored it. He found the files he was looking for and passed the tablet to Arthur. “Balinor is not missing, he’s dead. The man in the picture is Alvarr Walsh.” He pointed to the screen. “He’s Agravaine’s right hand. He killed the Dragonlord.” Arthur look up from the tablet to him and Merlin just knew what he was about to say. “How do I know that? My mom saw him. Balinor was waiting for her in the car, and she was just leaving the drugstore when she saw Alvarr on the passenger sit of a car driving by. And the next thing she knew the love of her life was dead.”

Arthur’s features softened. “Merlin, I –”

Merlin swept to the next picture on the tablet before Arthur could complete his sentence. “This one is the man who shot you. Myror Cane. Mercenary.”

“I’m sorry, for your mother,” Arthur said with a pained expression, which Merlin didn’t acknowledge. He wasn’t done telling the truth Arthur had been so desperate to know, at the expanse of his own bloody life.

“Here’s what I know, Balinor had been investigating an attack on our boarders by the sea,” Merlin began, seating down on the edge of the bed facing Arthur, who gave a curt nod for Merlin to go on. “In the middle of my investigation I stumbled on the Secretary’s name, in some obscure network in the deep web.” He brought a knee up and crossed on leg over the other. “I did some more digging.”

Arthur entire body was tense like a guitar cord stretched too tight. He was holding the corner of the duvet covering his legs with so much strength his knuckles were white.

Merlin put a hand over one of Arthur’s knees, afraid that he would hurt himself. “Breathe, Arthur,” he commanded gently.

Arthur let out an exasperate breath. “I shouldn’t –”

Merlin raised a hand to stop him. “I’m not finished,” he interrupted. “Turns out Agravaine has been financing some of the attacks that happened recently.” 

“Why didn’t you report this?”

“Because officially we’re outside of the law, and we didn’t have enough evidence. He’d burry us before we even had the chance. Arthur, Avalon stopped a lot of his plans to rise to power, including Medhir.”

Merlin saw something shine behind Arthur’s eyes at the mention of the mission that had brought them together.

“Look I don’t know if he knows Avalon’s over, or not. But we definitely triggered something that put Avalon on his radar. Because after the Dragonlord was killed, my assistant discovered Alvarr had been asking around about your father. Until he found out he’s dead.”

“Why did you lie to me?” Arthur inquired softly.

“I was afraid you’d march straight up to Agravaine’s doorstep and get yourself killed,” Merlin admitted.

Arthur barked a scornful laugh. “If anything, _Mer_ lin, I should be the one afraid of _your_ rookie mistakes. Not the other way around. I literally have years of experience on you,” Arthur said accusingly. “You shouldn’t have been doing this alone.”

“I’m not alone,” Merlin protested. “I have an assistant.”

Arthur scoffed. “If you’re talking about the disembodied voice,” he sneered, pointing at the ceiling.

“No, you prat! I don’t mean Aithusa. I have a living, breathing assistant, thank you very much.”

“So, what do we do now?”

“ _We_ don’t do anything. You rest here and I’ll try to sort this out.” Merlin started to get off the bed but Arthur held on of his wrists.

“You must really be an idiot if you think I’m letting you do this alone.” Merlin opened his mouth, ready to argue yet again about how it would be best if Arthur was kept under the radar, but he didn’t get the change. “It is not just me, Merlin. There’s Morgana, Gwaine, their kid. If they found out I’m Avalon it’s just a matter of time for them to get to the rest of my family.”

A cold sensation ran down Merlin’s spine. He hadn’t thought about that. He had been so worried about Arthur, Merlin had forgotten about the rest of his family.

“I didn’t think…” he confessed shamefaced.

“Of course you didn’t,” Arthur agreed, though he wasn’t being harsh. He smiled at Merlin sympathetically. “You were not trained for this.”

Merlin shook his head. “It isn’t training, it’s common sense.”

“No, Merlin,” Arthur countered, sliding his hand down to hold Merlin’s own, instead of his wrist. “None of this is your fault, you know that, right.” When Merlin didn’t answer Arthur pushed it, “Right?” And Merlin nodded meekly. “Good,” Arthur acknowledged. “Now, let’s stop being so stubborn and put our heads together to solve this.”

Merlin frowned, disappointed that, try as he might, he ended up dragging Arthur back to this.

Arthur took a pillow from behind his back and threw it on Merlin’s face. “Stop overthinking!” he yelled.

Merlin picked the pillow from the floor and was about to throw it right back on Arthur’s smug face, when he remembered Arthur was injured.

“Prat,” he attacked with words instead.

“It’s a gift,” Arthur smirked, putting his hands behind head to serve as a pillow, as he lay back on the bed. “Now, bring me more painkillers. I’m a man in pain.”

Merlin rolled his eyes, feigning annoyance – though he was actually glad they were done pointing fingers at each other – and went to attend Arthur’s request. “ _You’re_ the pain – in my arse,” he muttered under his breath.

“I heard that!” Arthur shouted from behind him.

* * *

Arthur couldn’t believe Agravaine de Bois, Secretary of the Fucking State, was trying to kill him. Arthur was not much of a political person, even less now, that he no longer worked for Avalon. But he did hear some great deal about de Bois.

The Secretary had been, slow but steadily, building up his campaign to the top. From what Arthur knew he had come out of nowhere a few years back and had risen surprisingly quickly to where he was now.

And apparently, part of his journey to power involved discrediting the current government to the point people would start demanding a change in command. And that’d be when Agravaine would step up to save the kingdom like a goddamn knight in shining armor.

Or so it seemed to be his plan, from what Arthur had gathered about what Merlin had shown him. But Avalon had frustrated several of his plans, enough to really get in the way of the Secretary’s rise to power.

Merlin had shared his suspicious that he probably knew the program had been shut down and therefore began his revenge on them, now that they were vulnerable, no longer under the anonymity the government had provided. But Arthur wasn’t so sure. Perhaps the Secretary didn’t know. Perhaps it just took him time to find them.

Either way Arthur couldn’t risk this getting to his sister. As idiotic as Merlin’s plan had been, he was right about one thing: not knowing may actually be the safer option for now. Merlin’s plan had failed him only because he’d needed Arthur’s help.

They didn’t need Morgana. Not for the time being, at least.

When Arthur woke up from yet another long nap he remembered he had just missed a day of work. He hadn’t thought about the University up until that point, too busy with all the information – and bullets – being thrown his way to think of anything else.

He called Gaius then. Late as it was Arthur owed him an explanation and he thought it would be better to do it right away, so that Gaius could find someone to replace him.

Arthur couldn’t go back. Not until he solved the situation. There was no way he would risk the lives of his students or anyone else in campus. 

Also, he wasn’t an idiot. Agravaine would soon realize Arthur was very much not dead. Camelot University would be the first place they would look for him.

Merlin’s house was the safest place for him, Arthur accepted. And he didn’t mind as much as he thought he should.

Merlin cooked them a half decent dinner, which consisted mostly of all the leftovers he had found in the fridge. Arthur had wrinkled his nose when Merlin had put the plate with the final product in front of him.

“Oh, for fuck’s sakes!” Merlin had huffed exasperate. “It’s not like it’s rat stew.”

“Might as well be, for all I know,” Arthur had shot back, poking the food with a spoon, half expecting the chunks of meat to squeak at him.

At which point Merlin had rolled his eye and taken the spoon from Arthur. “Say what,” he had ordered.

Arthur looked at him confused, was that the meds or had Merlin finally gone nutter. “What?” he had asked innocently.

And that was when Merlin shoved a spoonful of soup in Arthur’s mouth. Thankfully, it hadn’t been too hot. And, begrudgingly, Arthur had to admit it wasn’t bad either. It was quite tasty, actually.

Arthur didn’t tell Merlin that. But judging by the way he cleaned his plate he didn’t have to.

Merlin appointed accusingly at Arthur with his own spoon once they were done. “You liked it.”

Arthur shrugged noncommittally. “It’s not French cuisine.” It was the closest Merlin would get for admittance. Arthur was cranky, even a full stomach couldn’t shake the bad feeling on the back of his mind.

Merlin scoffed, not at all bothered by Arthur’s mood. “Ok, grumpy old man, let’s get you to bed,” he said as he stood up, rounding the table to help Arthur.

They walked slowly but in sync, until Arthur stopped their pace in front of the bathroom. “I uh – I need a shower.” He was stinking to high heavens on top of the smell of blood. There was no way Merlin hadn’t noticed too.

“Do you need help?” Merlin glanced apprehensively from the open door of the bathroom to Arthur’s face. And then he inhaled sharply. “You’re gonna need help.”

Arthur snorted. “I think I can manage a simple shower, Merlin.”

“Yeah, uh.” Merlin scratched at the back of his head with the hand that wasn’t helping Arthur to stay upright. “Floor is really slippery.”

“You’re kidding me,” Arthur said in disbelief. He had just told Merlin he had once dreamed about a life with him only a few hours ago. And now Merlin would have to hold his naked body while Arthur washed his bits. It was beyond humiliating.

Merlin gave him a once over. “You do remember I’ve seen it all before, right.”

Arthur groaned. “Let’s get this over with.”

Despite of his bravado minutes before, Merlin was the one blushing as he helped Arthur undress. Arthur saw how much effort he was putting into not to touch his bare skin.

He didn’t know if he should feel grateful or affronted.

Merlin hadn’t been kidding about the tiles, though. Arthur would surely have fallen on his face or arse if Merlin hadn’t been holding him. The soap made the whole thing even worse.

Arthur was so concentrated in not falling it made the situation a lot less awkward.

Merlin spent the entire time with his eyes glued to Arthur’s face. But he did lick his lips every once in a while, though. And Arthur had to think of dead cats.

When they finally made it to the bedroom Merlin left Arthur to fend for himself while he went and took his own bath.

It was only when Merlin was back and they were both fully clothed – Merlin had found something among his things that actually fit Arthur – that Arthur realized Merlin had only one bedroom, and consequently only one bed.

Merlin didn’t even want to argue about it, though.

“You take the bed,” Merlin declared. As much as Arthur wanted to argue everything that had happened took its toll on him, and he found himself agreeing without a fuss.

“You don’t have to leave,” he said when he saw Merlin was about to turn away.

Merlin smiled awkwardly at him and sat next to Arthur on the bed. “How you feeling?”

“Tired,” Arthur admitted. He sighed heavily, and then looked at Merlin with a more serious face. “Thank you, for saving my life.” Merlin tried to dismiss him, but Arthur stopped him. “I didn’t mean what I said before,” he confessed. “About you getting us killed,” he explained at Merlin quizzical look.

“Doesn’t matter,” Merlin murmured, glancing at his hands.

“It does,” Arthur countered firmly. “Merlin, look at me.” He waited for Merlin to do so and continued, “You saved my life. Everything you did – was to keep me alive. Now, I don’t know if I deserve it.” Arthur raised a hand to stop Merlin’s protest. “But I’m thankful, Merlin. I really am.”

Merlin acknowledged him with a nod, the points of his ears pink with embarrassment. He offered Arthur a shy smile before getting up, stopping at the threshold. “It’d have been lovely, I bet. To share a life with you,” he said quietly.

Arthur shrugged sheepishly. It hadn’t been too much time for Balinor and Merlin’s mother, like Arthur had assumed. Maybe Merlin and he still had a chance. “We’re not dead,” he said vaguely.

“No,” Merlin agreed with a chuckle, “we’re not.”

* * *

“What exactly do you do here, Merlin?”

Arthur’s voice came from behind him and Merlin almost jumped out of his skin. Arthur apologized with a charming smile, but he didn’t seem all the sorry about it.

Merlin shrugged. “Not much, really,” he confessed. “I try to keep an eye out for strange things. Mostly what people talk about online. A lot of kids get recruited in forums and stuff.”

“That’s how you found about Agravaine,” Arthur recalled.

“Yeah,” Merlin nodded, swinging his chair around to face Arthur. “Arthur do you think Leon –”

He was interrupted by Aithusa announcing a visitor. Both him and Arthur tensed for a minute before she said who it was.

Merlin slammed an open palm on his forehead. “Fuck, I completely forgot,” he said, more to himself than to Arthur, as he ran to open the door. “Mom, I’m sorry,” he began upon opening the door.

Hunith fixed him with a stern look for all of two seconds before she opened her arms and all but engulfed Merlin in a hug. She didn’t cry, she rarely did it in front of him, but he could feel her sadness. Balinor had been the love of Hunith’s life.

It reminded Merlin he wasn’t doing this just for Arthur. His mom was robbed from the man of her life, more than once. She deserved to know that the people who hurt her would pay for what they did.

“I’m sorry, sweetie,” she apologized once she disentangled herself from him. “I’m a bit emotional today,” Hunith said with a small laugh.

“Mom, I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”

“It’s alright, Merlin,” she reassured him. “I needed some time alone with him, anyway.”

Merlin shook his head; his mom didn’t need to make excuses for him. He knew he had failed her, but he had a good explanation.

“Mom, they went after Arthur. He was shot,” he told her.

“Merlin!” Hunith exclaimed, a shocked expression on her face. Merlin knew for a fact she had tried to be mad at Arthur for what had happened to Merlin. But it hadn’t last long. For one thing, Arthur had, even if unintentionally, brought Balinor back to her life. But more importantly, Hunith knew how much Arthur meant to Merlin.

“No, he’s alive! He’s here,” he told her, and immediately her expression softened into a knowing smile.

“Oh!” Hunith beamed at him.

“Oh?” Merlin stutter, as he realized what was probably going on in his mom’s head. “No! There’s not _oh_ , mom. No _oh._ ”

Hunith smiled at him in a rather condescending manner as she patted his cheek. “You sweet summer child,” she said as she passed him.

Merlin gaped in disbelief for a second before he turned to follow her. “Did you just quote Game of Thrones?” Hunith just laughed in response. “Mom? Wait!”

She stopped at the door if his bedroom, and Merlin all but cringed at her cheerful hello. He thought Arthur was smarter than this; he should have stayed in the safety of the Cave.

“Ms. Emrys, I’m so sorry for your loss,” Arthur was saying when Merlin entered the room.

“It’s okay,” Hunith smiled at him. “How are you feeling?” She asked with genuine concern.

“I’m fine, thanks for asking,” Arthur nodded a little flushed.

“Has Merlin been feeding you alright?”

“Mom!” Merlin exclaimed, but Hunith just waved his protest away.

“He’s injured, dear. You need to take good care of him.” And it was Merlin’s turn to feel the burn on his cheeks.

Arthur offered her one of his charming smiles, despite his own embarrassment. “He’s been very good to me, Ms. Emrys.”

“Good,” Hunith asserted. “And it’s Hunith, none of this Ms. Emrys nonsense,” she added fondly.

“Yes ma’am – Hunith,” Arthur stuttered.

“Arthur’s in it now, mom.” Merlin broke the lighthearted moment and Hunith casted a worried glance between him and Arthur. “We’ll do justice for Bal,” he said, using the affectionate pet name with which his mom called the Dragonlord.

Hunith took a deep breath, it was clear she wanted to protest against the idea of Merlin – and now Arthur – going after such dangerous people. But they had had that conversation before, and she knew exactly how Merlin stood about it. He wasn’t going to back down.

After a moment, she sighed, resigned. “You be careful,” she demanded, pointing a finger between Merlin and Arthur, “the both of you.”

“We will.” It was Arthur who promised first and Merlin just nodded in agreement.

After that, Hunith stayed long enough to cook a _proper meal_ , as she put it, and then she left them. She kissed both of them on the cheek at the door, and Merlin saw Arthur’s eyes go huge at the display of affection.

Merlin nudged his shoulder softly after the door was closed. “She likes you.”

“She’s a lovely woman,” Arthur said, not looking at him.

Merlin grabbed one of Arthur’s hands and pulled him from the door. “Yeah, just wait until she starts fussing over your eating habits. She’s gonna make sure you eat all the vegetables.” He grinned back at Arthur’s slightly concerned face. “All of them, Arthur. Come on, let’s check on Daegal’s report.”

“What the hell is a _Daegal_?”

“My assistant,” Merlin explained, “I told you about him.”

* * *

Merlin’s assistant was a toddler. A little older than that perhaps, give or take a few years, but still. Arthur wasn’t sure the lad was even of age yet.

Merlin had apparently rescued the boy from some tricky situation the kid he put himself into, and that had been enough to have Daegal – what sort of name was that, anyway? – imprinting on Merlin like a lost duckling.

He came in handy, Arthur couldn’t deny that. It was selfish thinking, he knew that, but it put him at ease a little bit, knowing that the boy was Merlin’s set of eyes on the streets. It meant Merlin was safe behind his computer screens, even though that was clearly not why Merlin had hired him.

“Daegal knows everyone,” Merlin had explained.

And wasn’t that pretty accurate? The lad did seem to know the whole of Great Britain. And one of his acquaintances knew someone, who knew someone who worked at the pub Alvarr Walsh used to go to.

“But how do we approach him?” Daegal asked, stretching even further down the sofa. He was practically lying on it. “Do we just go like _oi mate, you the one trying to off us all? Or is it just your boss?_ ”

For a brief moment Arthur had the awful impression Merlin was actually considering that horrible plan. But when he spoke, it turn out he had something even worse up his leave. “No, you already engaged him. You’re out. I’ll talk to him.”

“Absolutely not!”

“Arthur, he can’t see you. And you,” he turned to Daegal. “He’s seen enough of you.”

“Merlin –”

“I’m not asking for your permission, Arthur,” Merlin said firmly. “I’m doing this.”

“You’ll risk –”

“What?” Merlin cut him annoyed. “What will I be risking that you haven’t?” He turned to Daegal “Or you?”

Arthur shook his head, still not ready to let go. “I don’t like it.”

“You don’t have to,” Merlin replied roughly. He saw Arthur’s slight flinch at his bluntness and quickly shot him an apologetic smile. The whole situation seemed to have gone unnoticed by Daegal.

Arthur exhaled then, resigned.

“Fine,” he conceded. “But you’re not going alone.”

Merlin grinned at him with mischief. “Oh, don’t you worry about that.”

* * *

“So, you all understand how we’re doing this?”

Arthur could hardly be called a person _easily impressed_ , but every rule had its exceptions. He couldn’t help but to gap at the man in front of him.

Percival Wayne was a mountain of a man.

When Merlin had said he was going to call his friend Lancelot, after promising he wasn’t going to face Alvarr alone, Arthur had let out another string of protests about involving yet another civilian into this.

But then Merlin clarified that all he needed from Lance was the phone number of Lancelot’s cousin, an ex-military who now ran a security firm.

 And true, Arthur had been relieved with the news. But he felt a hundred percent securer for Merlin when, after a short call, Lance’s gigantic cousin showed up at Merlin’s doorstep.

The plan in itself was a rather simple one, though it did kill some of Arthur’s confidence, knowing that Merlin would still be interacting directly with Alvarr. But all things considered, it didn’t seem life threatening for anyone involved, and Arthur was more than okay with that.

One by one Arthur, Merlin and the kid nodded in confirmation. They knew what they had to do.

And of course, Arthur’s part was the worst one.

“You stay here and monitor the street  with the drone,” Merlin had said, and he was instantly backed by Percival after telling him about Arthur’s injury.

“I really think he shouldn’t be coming either,” Percival had pointed wisely, gesturing to Deagel.

“You can’t tell me what to do,” the kid had retorted petulantly, crossing his arms.

Percival didn’t seem the least bothered by the attitude, though. And as for Merlin – who knew the lad better than anyone in the room – he just rolled his eyes and told Daegal to keep out of the way.

Arthur would have been more sever, but he refrained from speaking. He was more concerned about getting everything right for the night, so he asked Percival to go over everything again. Even though Arthur wouldn’t be there, he wanted to be fully prepared for whatever outcome.

Percy explained everything to them again before excusing himself form some other work he had to do.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, gentlemen,” he said as he stood up from the armchair. “Pro bono is a lovely gesture, but I gotta do somethings to pay the bills.”

Arthur was on his feet two seconds later, his stiches protesting in the process but he ignored them. “Excuse me, how much do we owe you?” He looked around himself and realized belatedly Merlin had rushed Arthur out of his house with only the clothes on his back. “I don’t have my checkbook now, but I’ll –”

But Percival was already shaking his head. “You’re bringing down shitty politicians, mate. That’s all the payment I need.”

Since Percival wasn’t a civilian, and also related to one of Merlin’s best friends, he had been deemed trustworthy enough to know the whole truth about what they were doing and why. He had actually seemed a lot happier to help after they told him. Gawine would love Percy if they ever met, Arthur was sure of it.

Arthur’s manners demanded him to try to push it again, though but he didn’t have the chance.

“Oh, yeah! Your shit!” Daegal exclaimed before Arthur could even open his mouth. Then he jumped off the sofa and left the house. Coming back before any of them could make sense of what he was doing.

“Here,” he announced. Dropping a very familiar duffle bag at Arthur’s feet.

“Is that – is that mine?” Arthur asked, slightly horrified at the idea of Daegal going through his things.

“Yeah,” the boy smirked. “You have a really shitty security system.”

Arthur glance at Merlin and saw him doing an _I told you so_ movement. Except he hadn’t actually said anything, and Arthur felt very much violated.

Percival probably felt the tension in the air and chose that moment to make his exit. Daegal followed him suit.

Once they were alone Arthur turned to glare at Merlin.

“Well, it’s not like it’s a lie,” Merlin offered, really not helping his case. Arthur continued to stare at him and he sighed, turning his back to Arthur. “He’s the third person getting in and out of your house without so much as triggering an alarm,” he reported as he made his way to the basement, with Arthur right behind him.

“Third?”

“Yeah. Now, come on. I need to teach you how to use the drone.”

* * *

He spotted Alvarr at the bar.

Faking a slumber tone of someone who had been drinking heavily for quite some time, Merlin approached the counter and shouted to no one in particular.

“Oi! What’s a bloke gotta do to get them drinks, ‘ere?”  He turned to Alvarr with a loose smile. “Blow someone?”

Alvarr shot him a look of complete distaste, sliding his own drink further away from Merlin.

Merlin took it as an opportunity to put his plan in motion.

“Got a problem there, mate?” He asked, leaning towards Alvarr.

“Fuck off,” Alvarr shot back, not even looking at Merlin.

Giving him a very slow, very conspicuous once over, Merlin spotted Walsh’s mobile in the man’s back pocket.

“Bloody fairy,” Alvarr muttered to his drink as he took a sip.

Merlin waited for him to put the glass down then began to swing his way toward Alvarr until he was close enough to ‘trip’ over Alvarr’s feet.

“Whoops,” he breathed out as he grabbed a hold of Alvarr’s shoulder with one hand and used the other to pull out the cell phone. Merlin had a split second to feel disgusted with himself that he was touching the man, and then gave Alvarr’s butt a quick squeeze to distract him from the movement.

“Get the fuck off of me,” Alvarr shouted, shoving Merlin away from him.

Thankfully, that was the moment Percival showed up to save him in the last minute, like they had rehearsed, just as Alvarr was preparing to swing at Merlin. Unfortunately, so did Daegal.

“What’s happening here?”  Percy asked loudly, and a lot of heads turned to watch them. Good, Merlin thought. The more audience the last chance for bloodshed.

“Bloody fag is touching me.” Alvarr pointed angrily at Merlin.

Percy’s eyes zeroed on Alvarr. Now, usually Percival was a very easy going bloke, Merlin would go as far as saying he was a bit shy even, making himself look small and unthreatening. But at that moment Percy made sure look every bit the giant that he was. And Merlin had the satisfaction of seeing Balinor’s killer take a step back.

“What d’you say about my boyfriend?”

“I – he, he grabbed my arse,” Alvarr stuttered.

Merlin smirked from behind Percy. “I slipped,” he explained with a shrug.

Daegal chose that moment to leave the shadows and place an arm around Alvarr’s shoulders. Merlin wanted to cuff him on the head.

“Don’t worry,” he addressed Percival, but as soon as Walsh noticed him he shoved Daegal away like he’d burned. “He’s taken,” Daegal continued as if nothing had happen.

The bartender suddenly decided their little show had gone long enough and told them all to kindly bugger off somewhere else before he called the police.

Merlin took one of Percy’s huge hands in his and began to navigate them through the people – who had long lost the interest on their little brawl – and to the exit.

Percy stopped long enough to nod to Daegal to go with them and the  three of them left without so much as a glance back to where Alvarr was still fuming at the bar.

* * *

They were only a block away from the pub when they heard it.

“Look, if it’s not my mates,” came a voice from behind them. They all turn their heads to see who it was, and it wasn’t much of a surprise when Merlin realized it was Alvarr.

He came stumbling to their direction. Merlin exchange a glance between Daegal and Percy, not knowing if it would be best to just ignore him or not.

They took too long to make up their minds though, and, the next thing Merlin knew, Alvarr was colliding heavily with Daegal, who grunted in surprise.

Percy was quick to grab Avarr by the shoulders and all but remove him from over Daegal, placing him back on the ground on the other side.

“Sorry,” Alvarr huffed with a smirk, while he adjusted something on his back. “Slipped,” he said before breaking into a run.

“What the f—”

It was only then that Merlin heard the soft whimper coming from behind him. Percival and he turned their heads back to Daegal in time to see the boy falling to his knees. Both his hands pressed hard over his abdomen, trying and failing to contain the stream of blood coming from there.

Daegal looked at Merlin with pleading eyes. Merlin was completely paralyzed for a moment.

“Oh, my God,” Percy breathed out, kneeling down next to Daegal. “Merlin, call an ambulance,” he urged. “Merlin!” Percival repeated louder, and Merlin finally snapped out of it.

He took his phone from his pocket, but his hands were shaking so bad he dropped it, and when he finally picked it up, his fingers wouldn’t obey him to unlock the screen.

Merlin could hear Percy’s soothing words to Daegal, but he couldn’t understand any of it. He felt like he was watching the scene from afar. He felt like that for another three minutes or so, until a loud scream from the other side of the street brought him back to the present.

The girl across the street started to ask for help, making a better job than Merlin to get the ambulance.

Merlin sat down next to Daegal and began to slowly stroke his hair, taking it out of his sweaty face. “Help’s coming.” He didn’t know who he was trying to comfort more, the lad or himself. It didn’t seem to matter, though.

Daegal’s eyes were vacant, they flickered left and right but it didn’t look like he was seeing anything. Merlin looked desperately at Percy, who was doing his best to apply pressure to Daegal’s wound.

Percy seemed to understand the meaning of what Merlin didn’t say, and shook his head helplessly in response. They both looked back at Daegal when they heard the boy’s strangled cry.

Merlin could feel hot tears streaming down his cheeks; he ran his face hastily on the sleeve of his jacket. “It’ll be okay,” he whispered, his voice quavering.

Only it was a lie, and the three of them knew it.

Before Merlin could even hear the first signs of sirens Daegal’s eyes rolled to the back of his skull, his whole body trembled violently for a few seconds and then stopped completely. Daegal’s head lolled back on Percy’s lap, and Merlin saw the actual moment his life left him, along with his last breath.

Rage and grief filled Merlin’s heart all at once. It might have been Alvarr’s knife that had killed Daegal. But Merlin was the one who dragged him into this. All this time he’d been so preoccupied with keeping Arthur alive he signed this kid’s death sentence in the process. And he didn’t even care. Daegal had been playing with fire for Merlin’s sake, and Merlin didn’t stop him. No. He pushed him further.

Merlin was to blame for the lifeless body next to him. At the back of his mind he vaguely registered as the paramedics arrived and then took Daegal with them.

Someone was asking question. Percy was doing his best to answer them. Merlin had no idea what they were saying. One of the medics addressed him, but Merlin couldn’t understand what the woman was saying.

“Sir?”

“He’s in shock.”

He emptied his stomach at the woman’s feet then. She didn’t seem very fazed by it, but Merlin would have apologized anyway. Only when he looked back up again his feet gave under him, and his brain decided it had had enough, and proceeded to shut the whole system down.

* * *

Arthur had never felt more useless in his entire life as he sat there in Merlin’s basement, and watched with horror as the man who had killed the Dragonlord put a knife through Merlin’s juvenile assistant.

He wanted to call Merlin, but he was stuck in place.

No one went after Alvarr, and Arthur was thankful for it. Not only because he was dangerous but also because Percival was the only one who’d actually stand a chance against Walsh, and Arthur really didn’t want him to leave Merlin alone.

It didn’t matter that Alvarr had fled the scene, anyway. If the plan had gone how it was supposed to, then Arthur presumed a lot of people had seen Alvarr arguing with Merlin and his friends at the pub.

All they needed to do was point his ugly mug to police and there would be enough evidence to put him away. And if that failed there was still the video footage. Although Arthur wasn’t sure if it would hold up in court.

He felt bad for being so technical about the boy’s death. Truth was Arthur wasn’t close to the kid, hell, he’d met him that day. He was sadder for Merlin, for losing a friend.

Merlin came back home some hours later, Percy had driven them to the pub and he brought Merlin back, but he didn’t come in.

Arthur just heard the front door open and then close, and he went to meet Merlin in the living room.

He was pale and withdrawn.

There was dried blood on his clothes. It looked like Merlin had been crying. Arthur had seen it. He felt impotent, faced with Merlin’s pain.

Arthur pointed out the blood, but Merlin just stared blankly at the ground. After a moment he sat down with his back against the door.

Not knowing what to do, Arthur sat next to him, his knees up, brushing Merlin’s.

“I’m sorry.” Arthur broke the silence after a few more minutes.

Merlin closed his eye as he heaved a heavy sigh.

“I did this to him,” he said, with his eyes still closed and his voice hoarse.

Arthur shook his head, even though Merlin couldn’t see him. “Merlin.”

And Merlin finally looked at him. “I dragged him –”

“Don’t do this to yourself,” Arthur begged, not bearing to see the hurt on Merlin’s face. Merlin had been putting too much on his shoulders, he didn’t deserve that.

Merlin seemed to contemplate something for a while, and then he took a deep breath before turning his attention back to Arthur. “Did you see it?”

Arthur nodded.

“Good.” Arthur frowned, but waited for Merlin to elaborate. “I didn’t speak to the police – I – I couldn’t. Tomorrow.” He reached to the inner pocket from his jacket and produced an iPhone from it. It wasn’t Merlin’s. “Tomorrow I’ll give this to the police along with the video.”

“You know what’s in it?” Arthur could understand Merlin’s pain and anger, but he also thought Merlin was getting ahead of himself then. They needed a plan. They needed to know exactly what was in the smartphone and how it could be used.

He took the mobile from Merlin, but when Arthur pressed its physical button he discovered the screen was locked. “It’s uh—” He showed Merlin.

Merlin just snorted at him. Yeah, right. Arthur had momentarily forgotten how he had met Merlin in the first place.

“There are at least a dozen text messages that are clearly from the Secretary,” Merlin explained flatly. “At least the ones I saw in the car. I’m sure there’s more.”

“And you’re just going to deliver this to the police and hope for the best? Do we have enough to burry these bastards?”

“I think so,” Merlin answered with a shrug. Then he shot Arthur a small grin. “You never went this far.”

It took Arthur a few seconds to understand what Merlin was talking about. He was talking about Avalon, and how Arthur had never actually seen the end of a case.

Merlin quirked and eyebrow after Arthur acknowledged what he’d said and asked, “Excited?”

“No with this circumstances, no.” Arthur shook his head. “I’d rather not need this. To be next to you. I’d prefer it if the situation was not so life-threatening to everyone around.”

Merlin offered him a thin smile. “Yeah, me too.” He sighed and looked down on himself, noticing his clothes for the first time. “I’m going to take a shower,” he announced.

Arthur stood up and stretched a hand out for Merlin to do the same. Merlin accepted his hand and Arthur pulled him up. They were suddenly very close.

Merlin licked his lips, and Arthur couldn’t avoid staring at his mouth, as a silver of Merlin’s tongue darted out to wet his dry mouth.

Arthur had the feeling he should be willing his heart rate to go back down.

“I’m taking a shower,” Merlin repeated, only now his voice was huskier. Arthur nodded stupidly, not sure if it was an invitation or if Merlin just informing him. He waited, and Merlin clarified, “You’ll be in the bedroom when I come back?”

“You want me there?” After the night Merlin had it wouldn’t be a surprise if all of this was just so he could have his bed back. Although Arthur would be severely disappointed if that were the case, he wouldn’t push.

“I _need_ you there.”

* * *

Merlin washed methodically, grateful for the fact that Daegal’s blood had stayed only on his clothes, and not seeped through it, to his skin. It wasn’t much, anyway. Percy had gotten the worse of it.

Daegal didn’t have any family, Merlin thought absently. He would make sure his friend had a decent service anyhow. He could ask his mom for help.

But for the time being he just didn’t want to think. Merlin hadn’t been able to stop thinking about that whole situation for weeks. He just wanted – _needed_ – to unplug. If only for the night.

He was well aware of what he had just asked Arthur. Merlin knew what it meant. And he wanted it. Arthur and he had hurt each other unintentionally for way too long. They too had to stop running from their feelings. And if Arthur was willing to try…

Merlin turned off the shower.

He toweled himself dry and wrapped the towel around his hips when he was done.

Arthur was sitting on the foot of the bed when Merlin entered the bedroom, fully dressed with his own clothes, but for the bare feet.

They looked at one another for one, two, three heartbeats. Then Merlin was moving towards Arthur, who made a motion to stand up, but was stopped by a small shake of Merlin’s head, telling him to stay where he was.

Arthur drew his knees apart so that Merlin could fit in between them. He looked up at Merlin with dilated pupils.

“You used to be shy about this,” Arthur said softly with an amused snort.

“Shut up, Arthur,” Merlin said, leaning his body closer to Arthur.

“That’s my line,” Arthur protested as he reached a hand to cup the back of Merlin’s neck and bring his even closer. “Give it back,” Arthur whispered against Merlin lips.

Merlin smirked at him, letting his mouth ghost over Arthur’s. “Take it,” he dared.

And Arthur did.

None of the brief kisses they had shared the last few days compared to this. None of them had made Merlin shiver with the hunger for more. It certainly did not have this much tongue involved.

Looking back at their past, Arthur and Merlin hadn’t share much in that regard.

Merlin was more than happy to change that.

Running his hands from Arthur’s jaw down to his shoulders, Merlin gently – but firmly – pushed Arthur back on the bed. Arthur complied with low grunt as Merlin dropped the towel to the floor and followed him down, straddling Arthur’s hips, taking care of not putting too much weight on his wounded side.

His growing interest did not go unnoticed by Arthur. Shifting slowly above him, Merlin could feel he was not alone.

Arthur ran his hands up and down on Merlin’s back, pushing Merlin further toward him to steal his mouth again. And Merlin let him, pressing his whole body hard against Arthur, as if they could somehow merge together into one being, making the kiss deeper, as he explored and relearned Arthur’s mouth with his tongue.

Arthur groaned impatiently under Merlin. “Too many layers. Between us,” he complained in broken gasps. Merlin had to laugh at that. The only clothes were Arthur’s sweatpants and his thin tee. Probably some underwear too, but still, it could hardly be called _too many_.

 _To be young and in love,_ Merlin’s brain supplied. But five more years and Arthur would be forty. So he slightly modified that to, “To be horny and in a hurry.” He chuckled, hot puffs of air over Arthur’s jaw.

“You mock my misery,” Arthur replied. And, without warning, grabbed Merlin by the hips and twisted them around, switching sides. The friction caused by the movement left Merlin slightly breathless as he waited for Arthur to toss away his clothing as if it had personally offended him.

He was back with Merlin seconds later. His enthusiasm fully shown. “Now, where were we?” Arthur asked as he climbed back over Merlin.

Merlin squeezed one of Arthur’s arse cheeks. “Here,” he teased. And Arthur jolted forward with a slightly high pitched squeak of surprise. Merlin laughed a bit breathless. “Come back here,” he said then, coaxing Arthur’s face toward his to capture his lips.

They lost some of the time just kissing lazily. Arthur switched his attention from Merlin’s mouth to his neck, where Arthur was definitely working on a love bite. Merlin couldn’t help the low moan that escaped him when Arthur nipped at his earlobe.

Eventually, though, neither Arthur nor Merlin could ignore the partially neglected lower parts of their bodies for any longer, and Arthur began to make a painfully slow trail of kisses down Merlin’s body.

Merlin carded his fingers through Arthur’s hair encouraging him. His hips buckled up when Arthur finally got to his destination, and Merlin had to close his eyes to try and not come way too soon.

Arthur didn’t want that either, it seemed, for he let go a few moments later. “Please tell me you have—” Arthur asked in what sounded almost like pleading.

Merlin opened his eyes to look at him and the sight was enough to take his breath away. Arthur’s lips were pink and puffy and wet, his hair was tousled from Merlin’s fingers.

He was beautiful.

He was alive.

He was _there_.

And Merlin had almost lost him. First for his own stupidity and then… The force of everything that had happened to them hit Merlin like a speeding train. He let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, and something must have shown in his face because Arthur was gazing at him through narrowed eyes, a hint of concern on his knit brows.

Arthur sat back on his heels, resting his hands on his thighs. “If you want to stop,” he began but Merlin shook his head.

Merlin inhaled deeply as he reached for Arthur’s hands. “The last time we saw each other,” Merlin started, hoping Arthur would understand he meant their last meeting a year ago. “I thought it would be okay, seeing you and not having you with me. It’s not.” He stopped to kiss one of Arthur’s palms and then the other. “It’s not okay. I thought whatever we could have had – that it had stayed in the past.”

“Not if you don’t want to,” Arthur interjected, entwining his fingers with Merlin’s. “I told you, Merlin. I want a life with _you_.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t believe you,” Merlin croaked, “when you said you loved me.”

“I did. I do.” Arthur hovered over him, holding his weight with the knees that were bracing either side of Merlin’s hips to not crush Merlin.

But that was not what Merlin needed, he wanted to feel Arthur. Every inch of him. To prove that he was real. He unlaced the fingers of one hand to bring Arthur’s head down until their foreheads were touching. “Please,” Merlin begged almost desperately. “Show me.”

“Merlin?” Arthur breathed out hotly against his face.

 _Show me we can still have this. Show me you’re really here._ “Show me we’re alive,” Merlin said instead.

Arthur kissed him feverishly once more. With his free hand Merlin helped him get what they needed from the drawer in the nightstand. And Arthur prepared him slowly, with Merlin’s legs embracing his thighs.

It wasn’t long before he was ready, though. And then Merlin was digging his short fingernails on Arthur’ shoulder blades, and they breathed in sync, as Arthur and Merlin were made one.

They found a rhythm once Merlin was ready for Arthur to move, and the room was suddenly filled with the sounds of their elaborated breaths. Every gasp was answered with a moan. Every grunt met its twin in the short space between their mouths, only to morph into a groan when the space was no more.

Merlin felt his pleasure building up lower in his belly every time Arthur angled his thrusts just right. And Arthur’s name became a litany in his mouth, as Arthur took hold of him to bring Merlin to release.

Merlin was so high on it he almost missed Arthur as he hit his own climax. He was glad he didn’t. Arthur was gorgeous and the sight of him like that made Merlin fall in love with him a bit more.

When Arthur all but collapsed beside him with a huff Merlin turned to face him, wincing a little as Arthur left him.

Arthur offered him a sleepy smile, which Merlin returned in kind as he brushed off strands of hair from Arthur sweaty face. A distant part of his mind telling him they would need to shower soon. Merlin ignored it.

Arthur turned his head to plant a kiss over Merlin’s pulse. “I love you,” he whispered onto to it.

Merlin beamed at him. “I love you,” he replied.

* * *

When Arthur woke up the first thought that came through his mind was that it had all been a dream. He opened his eyes and noticed he was alone, but looking down on himself it was hard not to see the evidences of what had happened the night before.

Arthur wrinkled his nose, slightly disgusted and hopped from the bed, almost falling on his face as his feet got trapped between the sheets. He showered and then put on a pair of jeans and navy blue T-shirt.

All his clothes were in desperate need of ironing but Arthur didn’t have the heart to care. Daegal had been the one to put the clothes in the bag.

Ignoring his stomach’s demands for food, Arthur went to find Merlin in the Cristal Cave.

Merlin was so absorbed in what he was doing he didn’t even see him until Arthur right behind him, planting a kiss on his neck.

“Morning,” Arthur said against Merlin’s skin. And Merlin almost broke his nose as he jerked his head back in surprise. “Ow!” Arthur’s complain was muffled behind his hands as he pressed them over his nose. Luckily, it wasn’t bleeding.

“It’s your fault. Sneaking up on me like that,” Merlin pointed, smirking down at Arthur, who sat on one of the chair, tipping his head back for Merlin to assess the damage.

“I was going for romantic,” Arthur mumbled, swatting Merlin’s hand away. “But I forgot how clumsy you are.”

“You startled me!”

He was about to counter Merlin’s protest when he got a glimpse of what was on the screens in front of him. Two screens had several files open each, while a third one was paused on the video of the kid’s murder.

“You’re watching it. Merlin, don’t.”

Merlin shook his head. “I’m not punishing myself,” he explained.

“You can’t edit it, Merlin. It won’t be accepted.”

“That’s not what I’m doing either. I was just making sure we have everything we need.”  He pointed at the screens with the files. “Alvarr’s phone is a goldmine. We just need to put it all together and then – uh. Then I guess we need Leon.”

Arthur nodded.

“Let’s finish this.”

* * *

Leon was there the next day. Merlin had though it would be good to have his friend Percival with them as well, since they had already involved him, he might as well see the end of it with them.

The four of them sat around a small round table at a corner in Merlin’s basement. Merlin had a large tablet in the middle of the table, where he was displaying things from Alvarr’s phone.

“Every email, every text,” Merlin was explaining, “about chess is code for Avalon.” He scrolled down to an email from about a year ago. Alvarr either didn’t know how to clean his inbox or that he had to. Both ways worked well from them. Merlin was right. His mobile was a goldmine. “Here,” Merlin pointed at the screen. “Was probably when he found out Uther was dead.”

Arthur cranked his neck forward to be able to see it. _Too late for the checkmate_ , it read simply.

“And how do we know these are from the Secretary?” Percival voiced Arthur’s own concerns.

“I can trace it back to his IP. Even if the address is a fake he probably sent it from his phone.”

“We don’t need to prove it,” Leon intervened. “Actually, Merlin, your part in this is over.”

Merlin snorted loudly. “The fuck it is.”

“ _Mer_ lin!” Arthur scolded in a knee-jerk reaction and immediately schooled himself right after. Merlin wasn’t a child, and he was right to be upset to have all his hard work taken from his hands.

“Don’t _Mer_ lin me,” Merlin retorted with a poor impression of the way Arthur said his name. Arthur was certain he did not sound that high pitched. But before he could even open his mouth Merlin was turning his anger toward Leon. “Over my dead fucking body,” he growled.

Leon let out a long, heavy sigh. “Nothing you did so far it’s legal.” He raised a hand to hover over the tablet. “I’m going to process this through the proper channels.” Merlin crossed his arms. “ _Legally_. And we’ll get a search warrant to go through de Bois’ accounts, phone calls, text messages. His bloody Tinder if we have to.”

“Grindr too,” Percival added under his breath with a smirk. And now Arthur was a hundred percent sure he would get along with Gwaine like a house on fire. Perhaps it would be wiser of Arthur _not_ to introduce them.

But Merlin didn’t even register the comment. He rolled his eyes annoyed, but Arthur could easily notice he was warming up to the idea. Merlin was a smart man, after all. “Your proper channels didn’t do shite,” he mumbled.

Arthur nudged Merlin’s foot with his under the table and Merlin turned his attention to him. “No credit for us, uh,” Arthur said with a small smile.

Suddenly, Merlin was looking at Arthur as if he had just grown another head. He opened and closed his mouth a few times before speaking. “I don’t care about credit, Arthur. I care about _you_.” He shook his head, looking troubled and Arthur had to swallow hard. “Agravaine can make this disappear before it even sees the light of day. I’m not risking your life for this.”

“May I suggest something?” And Percival actually raised his hand to ask. Arthur nodded for him to go on. “Merlin, you want to make this very public, right? So that there’s not sweeping it under the rug.” He waited for Merlin to confirm and then proceeded. “Do both. Leon gives it to his bosses and at the same time you dump the whole thing online. There!” He shrugged as if to say it wasn’t that hard to find a solution.

“It could jeopardize –”

“Leon.” This time Arthur was the one to stop him. “We’re doing this.” Arthur placed both hands flat on the table and made sure to make eye contact with all of them. It was his life on the line after all; he had every right to the final word. “This is how we bring the Secretary down.”

* * *

Merlin waited for Leon’s signal with his fingers hovering over the _enter_ button. He almost pressed it in reflex when Aithusa’s voice broke the silence in the Cave to pass a message from his mom. Merlin took the opportunity to ask her help with Daegal’s funeral. He asked Aithusa to call his mom back and she agreed to help him.

Arthur wasn’t any better at sitting and waiting. In fact, he had gotten up and started pacing back and forth behind Merlin ten minutes after Leon and Percy had left them.

“Do you want to shag? It might help pass the time.”

“If you want to blow me, be my guest,” Merlin replied without taking his eyes from the screen. “I’m not leaving this chair until Leon gives me the go.” By the silence the followed Merlin thought Arthur was actually considering that option, but he didn’t have the time to dwell on it because then his mobile chimed.

Arthur read the text for him. “Go.”

Merlin pressed enter and immediately turned to get a flash drive off one his CPU. He put the drive in his jeans pockets and stood up, grabbing the jacket he had left on the back of the chair a while ago and putting it on. “Let’s go,” Merlin said, hooking an arm on Arthur’s and dragging him along.

“Where?”

“The police. I want to be there when they bring Alvarr in.”

“Pray tell me, how will you know when they’ll arrest him?” Arthur inquired with a quirked eyebrow.

Merlin stopped on his track to look at him. “I didn’t upload the video. Daegal doesn’t deserve this.” He took the flash drive from his pocket and showed it to Arthur. “I’ll give it to the police myself. It’s the least I can do for him.” He sniffed, averting his gaze from Arthur’s.

Arthur tugged at his hand and when Merlin looked back at him Arthur was offering him a sympathetic smile. “It’s over now,” Arthur said as he placed a hand on Merlin’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze.

Merlin felt his eyes sting, he was suddenly very tired. He caved in to Arthur’s touch, stepping closer until he could burrow his head on the crock of Arthur’s neck. And Merlin breathed in, Arthur’s scent grounding him as Arthur held him.

“Do you regret meeting me?” Arthur whispered against Merlin’s hair.

“No, of course not. Without you my life wouldn’t have been –”

“Complicated?” Even if he couldn’t see him, Merlin could feel Arthur’s smile. It made him smile as well.

“I was going to say quite this fun,” Merlin chuckled, disentangling himself from Arthur to look at him.  “Besides, my life is not complicated.”

“You literally fight terrorists. That’s complicated in my books.”

“Yeah well, your books are outdated.”

Arthur snorted and rolled his eyes. “You’re ridiculous,” he accused, planting a kiss on Merlin’s forehead. Merlin pushed him lightly, but Arthur just laughed, taking hold of one of his hands. “Let’s go.”

Merlin spared a moment to look at Arthur. _God, he loved that man!_ They had come a long way around, but they had finally found each other. They were finally on the same side of things.

He wouldn’t be able to keep Balinor’s work. And, if Merlin was being honest with himself, he didn’t want it. He wanted a life with Arthur. Merlin would leave the saving people and defeating evil to professionals like Leon and Percy. Merlin was sure there were more good people like them out there. He had to believe that.

“What?” Arthur asked after the long silence, blushing a bit under Merlin’s gaze.

Merlin grinned at him. “Nothing. Let’s go.”

* * *

They got to the police station and Merlin gave his statement, telling the police everything he could without compromising himself. One of the coppers asked him why he was recording himself with a drone, and Arthur was thoroughly impressed with Merlin’s ability to bullshit his away out of the question. He dumbed so much technical jargon about a project for a game of some sort of virtual reality that Arthur would have sworn he saw the headache forming behind the man’s eyes as Merlin spoke.

They stopped questioning him after that.

And, unsurprisingly, Alvarr Walsh already had a pretty long record of minor felonies. Merlin’s accusations were, by far, the worse thing on his list.

When everything had been said and done Arthur took hold of Merlin’s hand, fully expecting them to go home to try and put some distance between themselves and the whole situation. To relax while they waited for outcomes that would inevitably follow.

But Merlin had other plans. He planted his heels on the ground and refused to leave the precinct until Alvarr was brought in.

“It could take a long time,” Arthur had tried to reason with him, but with no avail.

So they waited.

And then waited some more.

Merlin and Arthur were practically thrown out to the street after about five hours of Merlin walking his way into making a hole on the floor.

He punched the dashboard when Arthur finally managed to coax him to get inside the car.

“He’s disappeared before, Arthur! After Balinor he was – he was gone. He was gone for a long time. I’ve read his messages, the only reason Alvarr came back was because Agravaine asked! Now he’s got no motive to come back. He’s going to vanish forever!”

Some of Merlin’s fire seemed to have left him after the outburst; he turned his face from Arthur to gaze thoughtfully out the window. They drove silently for a few minutes before Merlin broke the quiet with a heavy sigh.

“They won’t find him,” he said at last, sounding resigned.

Arthur wished he could say something to lift Merlin’s spirits, to give him hope that Alvarr would show any moment now. But he was too aware of how easy it was for a nobody like Walsh to disappear in the world.

Taking one of his hands from the wheel Arthur placed it on Merlin’s knee and squeezed it. “I’m sorry, love.”

Merlin acknowledged him with a nod but didn’t turn to look at Arthur. He left Merlin’s to his thoughts for the rest of the ride.

They had just entered Merlin’s house when Arthur’s mobile rang.

“ _Turn the telly on, mate,_ ” Leon said, completely bypassing any kind of hello. 

Arthur mouthed _TV_ and Merlin, after not finding the remote within his reach, order Aithusa to do it. _Lazy_ , Arthur whispered, but Merlin just shrugged unconcerned.

“ _What was that?”_ Leon asked over the line.

“Nothing, I was talking to Merlin. What channel?”

But Arthur didn’t need an answer to that, for Merlin’s television was already on BBC News and they were showing what appeared to be a slightly shaken – due to the reporter, and thus the cameraperson trying to navigate through a sea of people to get a better angle – footage of someone being taken by the police.

“Jesus! It’s him,” Merlin said next to Arthur.

It was then that Arthur looked at the bottom of the screen.

**_Secretary of State, Agravaine de Bois, arrested for involvement with terrorists._ **

The anchor was explaining in voice over what they knew so far about the situation. It didn’t seem to be much, but Arthur was sure it was enough to cause a hell of a commotion in the whole Island.

Arthur realized he had completely forgotten about Leon, but judging by the silence on the other side of the line, Arthur realized Leon must have probably hung up a few minutes ago.

“Ha ha,” Merlin laughed a little hysterically. Arthur glanced at him with a frown. Merlin had a hand over his mouth; he put it down, at Arthur’s questioning look, to reveal the boyish grin Arthur hadn’t seen in a long time. “You’re free! You’re safe! Arthur, you’re safe,” Merlin repeated as if he couldn’t yet believe what he was saying.

A logical – and with awful timing – part of Arthur’s brain reminded him that there was now no more reason to keep on hiding in Merlin’s place, that Arthur could, and should, go home. This part also reminded him he had to go to back to work as well.

Needless to say Arthur mentally told that part of himself to go fuck itself.

He had more pressing concerns at the moment.

Stepping closer to Merlin, Arthur smiled at him as he placed his hands on either side of Merlin’s waist.

“Thanks to you.” And Merlin actually looked embarrassed with the compliment. He averted his eyes from Arthur’s, worrying at his bottom lip as he glanced at the floor. Arthur brought a hand up Merlin’s chin to make him look up. “Thank you,” Arthur said once Merlin’s eyes were back on his.

“I didn’t do it alone,” Merlin mumbled with an awkward smile.

Arthur shrugged. “Doesn’t matter,” he whispered, bringing up his hands to gently cup Merlin’s face in them. He leaned closer and Merlin let out a shaky breath. “Thank you,” Arthur repeated, this time against Merlin’s lips.


	3. Chapter 3

They were going to be late for the match.

Arthur would bitch the entire journey from his house to the field where his teammates were probably starting to get changed for the game.

Merlin was about to call on that when he remembered Morgana was actually coming to get them. For what reason, though, Merlin hadn’t the faintest.

All he knew was that Arthur and she were a lot closer again, now that there was no imminent threat above their heads – even if she hadn’t no about said threats – but Merlin assumed the reason she had moved to Ireland was to get to a safe distance from the dangerous life she used to live.

But then again, Merlin wasn’t sure. He just knew that Arthur had called his sister the day of the Secretary’s arrest.

Arthur had said she had the right to know, after all, Agravaine would most definitely had gone after her and her husband at one point. Probably after – and Merlin shuddered at the mere thought of it - killing Arthur. Or rather, he would have sent his goons, Alvarr or Myror. Merlin let out a small sigh of relief, knowing that at least Myror was gone for good. The police had found his body a few weeks after Agravaine’s arrest. It was a shame they never heard of Alvarr Walsh again, but perhaps it was for the best.

In any case, Agravaine would rot in jail until his dying day, and Merlin was more than okay with that outcome.

Merlin had heard Morgana screaming over the phone about how Arthur should have told her sooner, and how they could have helped. Merlin knew every counter argument Arthur would have giving her, had Morgana given him the chance to speak in his defense. She had hung up on Arthur, only to return hours later – thankfully when they were about to go to sleep and not otherwise engaged – and they managed to have an actual conversation.

They were still talking when Merlin fell asleep.

Now that Morgana and her family were back in London, her husband had talked his way in Arthur’s football team – something else Arthur was no longer denying himself – and Arthur had begrudgingly welcomed Gwaine to it.

Merlin himself had helped the formation, suggesting that Lance and Percy should joying in.

As Arthur had predicted, Gwaine and Percy had fallen for each other at first sight. Arthur had nudged his sister and made some comments which had earned him a sharp elbow to the stomach. By the look on Arthur’s face Merlin could see he was thinking it had been worth it.

Arthur’s nephew had been another story. Mordred was a bit creepy, but cute. With his huge blue eyes, that had probably come from Arthur, and his bowl haircut. He had taken to Merlin like no other kid had ever, not even when Merlin was a kid himself. And Merlin couldn’t say he wasn’t quite fond of the boy as well.

And it had been Morgana’s turn to snicker at her brother about how his boyfriend was so young he had made friends with her five-year-old. Arthur didn’t dignify her with an answer.

Now, knowing that they still had to wait for Morgana, Merlin decided there was no need to hurry Arthur up.

So he ignored the time on the digital clock over the nightstand and rolled over so that he would be half on top of Arthur.

Merlin laid a kiss on Arthur’s pulse point under his ear. He rubbed his groin significantly on Arthur’s hip.

A sleepy smile spread across Arthur’s face, but he didn’t open his eyes.

“Morning,” Merlin whispered in his ear, taking the opportunity to nibble playfully at Arthur’s lobe.

Arthur grunted low in his throat as he brought at hand to the middle of Merlin’s back to pull Merlin on top of him. “Indeed,” Arthur agreed in a low tone.

Merlin chucked. “You have terrible morning breath,” he accused, leaving a trail of wet kisses all over Arthur face.

“Pot, kettle,” Arthur shot back, both hands squeezing Merlin’s arse down as he rubbed his own hips against Merlin’s.

Merlin rested his face on the crock between Arthur’s neck and collarbone, a moan escaping his parted lips as he stated to suck at the tender skin.

He reached blindly for the nightstand but Arthur intercepted his wandering hand, bringing Merlin’s arm down to his side.

“Don’t think I haven’t seen the time,” Arthur said, sounding impressively fluid, given that his mouth hadn’t left Merlin’s jaw for him to speak.

“We’re too old for dry humping, don’t you think?” Merlin complained, even though he did not stop the moving against Arthur. If anything, they were actually moving faster.

It wasn’t too long before they completely lost rhythm and Merlin was spilling all over his boxers like a bloody teenager, Arthur not far behind.

With a satisfied sigh Arthur rolled Merlin off of him and turned to reach for something in the drawer of the nightstand.

Merlin was about to voice the unfairness of it when he saw what Arthur had on the palm of his hand.

He tried his best to look surprised, but, judging by the slightly disappointed look Arthur was giving him, he wasn’t doing a very good job.

“You saw it.” It wasn’t even a question. Arthur looked like someone had just told him the end of a series he had just started to watch. Merlin couldn’t help but to grin a little at his expression.

“It’s next to the goddamn lube!” Merlin tried to argue in his defense. “For a former spy you sure picked a rather ridiculous place to hide it.” Merlin chuckled.

“It’s not funny, _Mer_ lin.” Arthur was pouting. It was so adorable Merlin had to kiss him. Arthur didn’t return the kiss, though, choosing to brood instead.

“Yes, okay, yes,” Merlin nodded with a fond smile, rolling his eyes.

“I didn’t ask anything.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sakes,” Merlin exclaimed. “Here I am, giving you the honor. The least you could do is crack a smile,” Merlin teased, poking a bonny finger on Arthur’s ticklish ribs.

Arthur squeaked. He tried to get some distance between himself and Merlin and almost fell off the bed. Merlin caught him before he did, and pushed Arthur back up.

When Merlin looked back at his face, Arthur was no longer giving him the stink-eye.

“You still ruined the moment,” Arthur emphasized as he took the ring from the box and carefully slid the silver band down Merlin’s finger, planting a delicate kiss over it when he was done. “Idiot,” he accused, but there was too much affection in his voice for Merlin to take it as anything other than endearment.

The smile that was spread across Merlin’s face was so big it was threatening to split his face in two.

“I love you, too.”

Arthur gave him a quick kiss before getting off the bed. “Let’s go, then,” he said simply, as if he hadn’t just proposed to Merlin. “Before my bloody sister breaks in.”

Merlin was about to ask what the hell he was on about, but then he realized the noise on the background of his thoughts was not in his mind but rather someone trying to make a rock concert with Arthur’s doorbell.

“Come on, Smarty Pants,” Arthur urged him again. “I’m going to score a goal for you.”


End file.
